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 Not doing so good :( 
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Joined: Sat Jul 12, 2008 11:39 pm
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Location: West Auckland's Resident Dork
Post Not doing so good :(
My cousin is throwing a first birthday party for her little girl next weekend. Another cousin who has a one year old son will probably also be there. I'm really hurting because I should have been throwing Morgan Jade's first birthday party a month or two back, and this is just bringing all the grief back up again. I really do love my cousin's kids, they're both beautiful, it just really sucks that they remind me so much of where Morgan would have been at if she'd survived. It makes it really hard for me to be around them for long periods of time. Just feeling like crap today. :(

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Sat Sep 06, 2008 5:08 pm
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:bighug:

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Sat Sep 06, 2008 6:27 pm
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Joined: Sun Aug 03, 2008 11:49 pm
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Location: West Auckland
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It's so hard being reminded of what our wee ones would be like and be doing, isn't it? My SIL had her wee girl the day before Darien died so I have this lovely reminder of exactly how many weeks it's been *sigh*

I don't know what I'd do in your situation, but I do think to myself with things like this that it's not Darien, and it's not their fault they had such awful timing with their baby, KWIM?

Hugs, it's a toughie!

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Jess, mum to Xander 5yrs, Emily 3yrs, and Darien stillborn at 28+4 on 16th June 08 from a Concealed Placental Abruption. Our new hope Lorelai born May 5th 09!
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Sat Sep 06, 2008 8:47 pm
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Joined: Sat Jul 16, 2005 3:01 pm
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It is tough. Both my SILS had bubs close to Trinity. the three of them were meant to be buddies, we always talked about how they would grow up together, it's still bittersweet at family gatherings when I see the other 2 together, but sometimes I feel comforted by the reminder, I can see how she would be, what she would be doing, I can almost picture it easier, it's nice, one day you might have the same feelings, both of you.
Jessies right, it's not their fault, perhaps having your own little party would help, we do.

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MANDA
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Sat Sep 06, 2008 9:29 pm
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:bighug:

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Sat Sep 06, 2008 10:08 pm
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((( Big Hugs))) it is a toughie. I'm a bit like Manda, where I quite like seeing children of Satori's age, because then I can imagine what she would be doing, but it can also be bittersweet. I think you just need to go with however you feel - the people close to you should understand if its too hard for you to cope with, and if not - look after you first :)

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Sat Sep 06, 2008 10:28 pm
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:bighug:, it is a really hard thing to do. I know my ssiter struggles with my eldests birthday as she lost her angel just as I found out I was pregnant with him. It is such a hard reminder.

For me it is getting easier each year (I don't know if it is for me there is noone that I know that is around the same age as my angel).


Sun Sep 07, 2008 11:10 am
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Hugs, that is a real hard one, I too have some very close friends whos children were born extremely close to both my girls birthdays and it sux. Do not get me wrong I am happy for them but it really does hurt sometimes. I found for sure the 1st birthdays were the hardest.
I now find (as Mandas lil miss Loralei is one of them born the day before Laine) it is not as bad and I think I have a better 'connection' with her because of this all (sorry Manda can not think of a better word than conection but you know what I mean)

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Sun Sep 07, 2008 4:27 pm
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:bighug: :bighug: :bighug: This is one of many milestones that we all have to face. I find that being open with my friends and family about how I am feeling, makes things much easier.

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Tanya

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Sun Sep 07, 2008 5:22 pm
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Joined: Sat Jul 12, 2008 11:39 pm
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Thanks for your support ladies. When I first saw my two cousin's kids, it was another step for me because it did make me realise neither of them would ever be MJ. It's just so hard that she should have been a couple months older than them, I guess I'll always feel her absence in my life. :( I hope you're all doing ok. :bighug:

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Sun Sep 07, 2008 11:14 pm
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