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:tear: I knew this would happen
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~*Telly*~
Joined: Thu Jul 14, 2005 8:06 pm Posts: 1455 Location: Auckland
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:tear: I knew this would happen
Not long after I posted the "Just thought I'd share" post, something shitty happened.
I went to the toilet (sorry if TMI here ok) and I'm spotting brown blood. I was SOOO upset, and Mike was asleep. Have been having horrid cramps, which is nothing I've never had before, and this spotting....
I thought it was playing tricks on me after last time when I had that little one or two spots of small blood, I was sure it was coming and to no avail, and the same happened this morning, and didn't think anything of it, just thought it was going to be like last time. But this afternoon, cramps and heaps of spotting
I'm such a baby....
I'm sorry, I feel so stupid after sounding so positive in my other post, I feel so, so, BLAH
Sorry..........
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~*Mummy to now SIX angels ~ I miss you my babies ~
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Thu Sep 01, 2005 9:38 pm |
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nicoles mom
Joined: Sat Jul 23, 2005 8:08 am Posts: 716 Location: Caribbean
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Oh Telly,
I am so sorry. Sometimes I wonder why we must be tortured again and again. Isn't what we have been through enough? I hope tomorrow brings a bit of sunshine for you.
Jenn
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Thu Sep 01, 2005 11:18 pm |
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~*Telly*~
Joined: Thu Jul 14, 2005 8:06 pm Posts: 1455 Location: Auckland
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Thanks
I just feel so horrid and down. My main support person is at work on night shift, so quite lonely and in a bad mood.
I guess we have been waiting for AF to come and go so we could start trying again, and knew it was going to be hard, but not this hard.
Its a reminder for me that I'm not pregnant anymore, and I guess that's what I having the hardest time with - knowing that this mean's I'm not pregnant.
Thanks for reading...
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~*Mummy to now SIX angels ~ I miss you my babies ~
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Thu Sep 01, 2005 11:42 pm |
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nicoles mom
Joined: Sat Jul 23, 2005 8:08 am Posts: 716 Location: Caribbean
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I understand Telly. It is ok what you are feeling. It is ok to be upset and mad and cry and scream. we are here for you.
Jenn
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Fri Sep 02, 2005 7:15 am |
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TrinityClair
Site Admin
Joined: Sat Jul 16, 2005 3:01 pm Posts: 1689 Location: Auckland
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Hiya Telly,
Do you think it's af this time? I know how you feel, I was pretty down when I got my 1st af after losing Trinity. I had alot of mixed feelings, I was angry because it was just another horrible reminder and my body was returning to normal and I didn't want it to, I wanted to be pg. But, and this is the hard bit, I was also relieved that my body was getting back to normal as it meant that ttc was getting closer (even though it was still unfair), if you catch my drift.
Anyway, I hope your feeling better today, chin up, (((hugs)))
_________________ MANDA
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Fri Sep 02, 2005 9:12 am |
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Kim
Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2005 8:43 pm Posts: 1315 Location: Whatawhata, Hamilton
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Big (((HUGS))) babe.
Am here if you need me.
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Fri Sep 02, 2005 9:50 am |
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angelbaby
Joined: Wed Jul 20, 2005 10:44 pm Posts: 1117 Location: Auckland, NZ
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Hi Telly,
I just wanted to send some (((hugs))) your way.
I hope you feel better soon and remember it's ok to feel good one moment and shitty the next, I think all of us here understand that.
Take care
Jacqui
_________________ DD Tylar 10
Angel Riley Born Sleeping, 38wks
14 angels M/C
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Fri Sep 02, 2005 10:15 am |
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*lynne*
Joined: Mon Jul 18, 2005 8:39 pm Posts: 771 Location: dunedin
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Hugs to you telly...am thinking of ya hun
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http://lynne1.wordpress.com/
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Fri Sep 02, 2005 12:29 pm |
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~*Telly*~
Joined: Thu Jul 14, 2005 8:06 pm Posts: 1455 Location: Auckland
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Well, I'm pretty sure its AF this time. I'm having actual bleeding today, which has only been over the past couple of hours. Whilst its only a couple of teaspoons, there is still more brown there than red, so I'm pretty sure this is it.
I was even entertaining the idea last night that we could be pregnant, and was even going to buy a pregnancy test in the shopping this morning, but whilst I was shopping, I had this horrible feeling down below, and just knew what it meant, and my heart sunk. Will teach me for getting worked up and excited about something.
When I had the spotting last night, I was all alone, my husband was at work, and the flattie was up doing radio work till 11pm. I went to bed at 3 am, and cried most of the night, and didn't sleep much at all. That and the fact I'd had too much to drink...
I made sure that when hubby got up this afternoon that I had a good cry and had a big cuddle. He said to me "you knew this was going to come sooner or later" and I said I know, I'm just sad, and I knew it was coming, but I wasn't prepared for the pain inside that I am feeling, and the fact that I am no longer pregnant, and that's what's hit me the hardest. He just said "aww, its ok to be sad" and just cuddled me, which always makes me feel better - he is my rock.
I have been rather short tempered with Cameron today too, dunno if its because of this, or the late night or everything, but I'm just so BLAH
Thanks guys for reading this, I'm glad I have you guys to lean on as well as my husband.
_________________
~*Mummy to now SIX angels ~ I miss you my babies ~
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Fri Sep 02, 2005 2:53 pm |
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nicoles mom
Joined: Sat Jul 23, 2005 8:08 am Posts: 716 Location: Caribbean
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Telly,
I amsorry that this was so difficult. Hang in there. As Amnada said, at least you can start ttc. At least there is hope for that now. I am here for you.
Jenn
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Fri Sep 02, 2005 11:57 pm |
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~*Telly*~
Joined: Thu Jul 14, 2005 8:06 pm Posts: 1455 Location: Auckland
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This AF has been horrendous, and I've experienced nothing like it in my life.
Spotting on Thursday, bleeding on Friday, bleeding like the Victoria Falls yesterday. A tampon lasted not even an hour before I felt major leaking. I didn't even think it would be that bad. I felt so awful because there were no toilets out there, and all I had on me were tampons, but no where to change.
I'm to add that theres no change in the amount of flow today, very much like yesterday
I had to go buy maternity pads (which is quite depressing really - seeing as on the packet it says "congratulations on your new bundle") and am going through them like they are 'going out of fashion' if you know what i mean.
Sorry if this has all been TMI
Am going to go to the doctors (for sure this time) and get it checked out, because I am loosing a lot of blood, a really bright colour, and just really odd. I actually feel really tired and drained, most likely from the amount of blood AF is giving me. It's also really painful in strange places. Hrm, doctor is definately priority tomorrow that's for sure.
Sorry again if this has been TMI, but had to vent....
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~*Mummy to now SIX angels ~ I miss you my babies ~
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Sun Sep 04, 2005 4:29 pm |
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TrinityClair
Site Admin
Joined: Sat Jul 16, 2005 3:01 pm Posts: 1689 Location: Auckland
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Sorry your not having a good time with it Telly, good to hear your going to the doc, try not to worry about it too much, I know our situations are different but I had a REALLY heavy 1st AF. Hope all goes well at the doc and you get it sorted.
p.s. I know what you mean about using the maternity pads, a bit of a drag with that ever so cheerfull note on the back.
_________________ MANDA
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Sun Sep 04, 2005 5:49 pm |
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Ally
Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2005 11:42 pm Posts: 664 Location: Auckland
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Telly, sorry you are going through this, Hope the doctor has some answers for you today.
Ally
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Mon Sep 05, 2005 12:50 pm |
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~*Telly*~
Joined: Thu Jul 14, 2005 8:06 pm Posts: 1455 Location: Auckland
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Tried making a docs appointment today, but she is busy, so ging at 8.55 tomorrow morning. Hopefully will get some things sorted.
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~*Mummy to now SIX angels ~ I miss you my babies ~
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Mon Sep 05, 2005 1:07 pm |
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lizzielou
Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2005 11:05 am Posts: 278 Location: new Plymouth
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Hi Telly
Hope you are feeling a bit brighter?
My first AF after M/C was really heavy too. I was put on some medication which really helped though, unfortunately I can't remember the name of it? Its a tablet they give to woman who suffer from really bad periods and for people who are having bleeds in their eyeballs! Aren't you glad you're not bleeding there!!! It was really successful for me, slowed the bleeding right down, but didn't stop it completely. You might want to suggest this to your GP? Though I think he/she will probably think of it too.
I remeber feeling really cheated with my first AF as well. Its just not fair eh?
Thinking of you. Lizzie
_________________ NB/small Cloth Nappy Hire Kits - lizskippen@hotmail.com
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Mon Sep 05, 2005 6:06 pm |
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~*Telly*~
Joined: Thu Jul 14, 2005 8:06 pm Posts: 1455 Location: Auckland
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Well, I went to the doctors this morning, and she's given me Naprosyn to lighten things up. It says on the prescription form to take with painkillers for the pain.
I also asked if there was a report from the hospital there from the testing on the baby, and all she read out with the discharge form fomr the day we had the d&c. I would assume if there was anything major, she would have told me.
Am so very tired, even with iron pills i still feel so very tired. Maybe time to up the doseage.
I don't even remember driving to or from the doctors, and is about a 25 minute drive....
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~*Mummy to now SIX angels ~ I miss you my babies ~
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Tue Sep 06, 2005 2:03 pm |
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~*Telly*~
Joined: Thu Jul 14, 2005 8:06 pm Posts: 1455 Location: Auckland
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Ok, did a search on Naprosyn, it says this:
Naprosyn, a nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drug, is used to relieve the inflammation, swelling, stiffness, and joint pain associated with rheumatoid arthritis, osteoarthritis (the most common form of arthritis), juvenile arthritis, ankylosing spondylitis (spinal arthritis), tendinitis, bursitis, and acute gout; it is also used to relieve menstrual cramps and other types of mild to moderate pain.
I thought the doc told me it was for slowing the flow or whatever. How dumb am I...
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~*Mummy to now SIX angels ~ I miss you my babies ~
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Tue Sep 06, 2005 3:10 pm |
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