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 Just feeling a little ripped off 
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Joined: Thu Jul 14, 2005 8:06 pm
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Location: Auckland
Post Just feeling a little ripped off
[smilie=bluecolorz5_pdt_07.gif]

It feels like a bad dream that all this is happening again - and not sure I can take anymore.

In under a year I've had three losses and I'm destroyed.

First in July last year, four years to the day, at the same gestation as my first MC which was very hard on me. Then at 16 weeks gest in Jan, which I lost total control of any desire to want to go on, and now, I am waiting for another to depart this ruined body.

I was supposed to be on marae a couple of weekends ago and ended up being rushed into hospital half way through, with severe pain and heavy bleeding, where I learnt my little one had died. They also found some other medical issues but I can't bring myself to talk about that because its not good. I am still bleeding and baby hasn't passed so due now to go back and have a d&c.

....i'm sorry - this is too hard

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Tue Jun 01, 2010 12:52 pm
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Joined: Tue Mar 25, 2008 9:18 am
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Post Re: Just feeling a little ripped off
Oh Telly, I'm so, so sorry hun. Life is so hard and so unfair at times. Please take care of yourself hun :grphug: :grphug: :grphug: :grphug: :grphug: :grphug: :grphug:

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Tue Jun 01, 2010 9:29 pm
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Post Re: Just feeling a little ripped off
oh Telly this is just so unfair for you. I'm so sorry that you keep going through this. Big hugs chickie

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Wed Jun 02, 2010 8:12 pm
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Joined: Wed Feb 13, 2008 9:04 pm
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Location: Dunedin
Post Re: Just feeling a little ripped off
Telly, I am so sorry to hear this. I wish I could be there to give you a real hug. I dont understand how life can be so unfair. Telly, sending you lots of love and hugs.

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Thu Jun 03, 2010 10:18 pm
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Post Re: Just feeling a little ripped off
I just don't know how to feel and act anymore - to top it off I have big issues down there now - its doing my head in - someone really must hate me....

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Thu Jun 03, 2010 11:06 pm
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Joined: Thu Dec 14, 2006 3:08 pm
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Location: Rotorua
Post Re: Just feeling a little ripped off
Oh Telly...huge hugs to you Chook, I too wish I was there to give you a real live hug. I am so sorry that you are having to go through this again. Please remember that we are here if you need to talk at anytime... [smilie=bluecolorz5_pdt_07.gif]

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Fri Jun 04, 2010 5:01 pm
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Joined: Thu Jul 14, 2005 8:06 pm
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Post Re: Just feeling a little ripped off
[smilie=bluecolorz5_pdt_07.gif]

Well, it's happened, yesterday I lost my little one. It was such a horrible and painful thing to go through again. Each time this brings about a new experience of pain and what not. I went and got checked over and had a u/s and indeed my baby has left me.

It was so traumatic. Yesterday was another day from hell.

I'm not coping very well and feel very very alone...

I thought today might be better but it's not. I had to go get food. Out with all the preggies and babies. I've come home n now a complete mess...

I have a friend who announced she was pregnant the same time as me, but about three weeks behind me. I now can't even face her...

What they found in my last u/s was pointed out again this time so have yet more appointments. Things seem neverending...

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Thu Jun 10, 2010 3:16 pm
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Post Re: Just feeling a little ripped off
:grphug:

So sorry you are going through this Telly :(

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Fri Jun 11, 2010 5:14 pm
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Post Re: Just feeling a little ripped off
I'm so sorry Telly. Are they offering you any sort of help or support at least? I mean it will never make up for the 4 babies you don't have here with you but if it can help you have one come into the world complete...I don't know...I'm just so sad for you. Big hugs love. I'm thinking of you.

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Wed Jun 16, 2010 7:06 pm
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Post Re: Just feeling a little ripped off
I don't know where to start with the private system here - the public one sucks.

I'm looking at SANDS upon recommendation but haven't been brave enough to make that step yet :(

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Wed Jun 16, 2010 11:18 pm
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Post Re: Just feeling a little ripped off
Yeah you need to do it when you are ready to do it. Otherwise you won't go back. You could take your partner or a friend to make it a bit easier maybe.

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Thu Jun 17, 2010 8:55 pm
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Post Re: Just feeling a little ripped off
No words, Just :grphug: :grphug: :grphug: :grphug:

i'm so sorry this has happened Telly :sorry:

BTW I found sands to be a godsend for the first 12mths after losing Satori. It gave me time once a month to spend time purely remembering my girl, and also gaining an understanding that it was OK and natural to feel how I was feeling, and to be doing some of the things I was doing.

Take Care and journey gently.

Yvonne

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Sun Jun 20, 2010 11:18 pm
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Post Re: Just feeling a little ripped off
Thank you ladies

I just hate feeling so alone through all this - nothing seems fair to me at the moment.

Have been giving SANDS a lot of thought - but not really all that comfortable to make that call yet :(

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Mon Jun 21, 2010 11:40 am
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Post Re: Just feeling a little ripped off
:(

Things are so hard at the moment. Endless tears - some bad habits - things just seem so dark. I have a few friends popping up pregnant at the moment - and while I am really happy for them - it's just not fair :(

....sorry.......

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Sat Jul 10, 2010 5:33 pm
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Post Re: Just feeling a little ripped off
no need to say sorry Telly...its good to talk about it all. I went to my first sands meeting last night and found it so good to be able to talk out loud about my boy again. If you've been thinking about it i encourage you to try it. There was a lady at my meeting that said nothing but her name and some tears and that was fine you know....it just good to be around others who know a little of what your going through and have the opportunity to talk freely if you choose without the awkwardness of people who dont understand.

Thinking of you

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Wed Jul 21, 2010 11:11 am
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Post Re: Just feeling a little ripped off
Don't be sorry. It's what we are all here for. It's good to get it off your chest and not bottle it all in and explode later to the wrong people. Don't ever be sorry for your feelings either. Your feelings are your feelings and you can't help them. It's totally normal to have some interesting thoughts that you never ever thought you would have. It desn't change who you are as a person. You have been through some pretty traumatic times and you don't know what the future holds for you so you are well within your rights to FEEL whatever you want to feel. I know you feel alone but I hope you know that we are all here for you and even though our experiences are all different than the next person, we know what you are going through and we know how you feel.

Much much much love to you Telly and I sincerely hope that you have at least 1 good good friend that gives you all the physical cuddles that we try to give you electronically.

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Wed Jul 21, 2010 8:05 pm
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