Sincs we lost our little baby
And I am surprised at how much it still hurts, despite the fact that I have since had two beautiful (if somewhat noisy!) gremlins. I remember the first thought that went thru my head when I saw the bleeding was "nooooo....", followed by "Thank God it didn't happen on my birthday" followed by, "what a sucky day for this to happen, being New Years Eve it's pretty hard to forget the anniversary"
I remember lying in bed on NYE last year listening to the party going on next door and the bass on the speakers sounded like a heartbeat and I was so devastated.
I didn't actually have the d and c till the 2nd Jan so time will tell how I cope with the next couple of days, but I remember afterwards I cried for what seemed like weeks. And I felt so guilty for even thinking about TTC again, but at the same time all I wanted was to be pregnant.
I guess I have had so much more than I could possibly have dreamed, I hoped it wouldn't take too long to conceive agian, and that I would be pregnant by Christmas, I never expected to have two beautiful babies by Christmas, it's all happened so quickly.
I just want to say a huge thank you to all of you for your support this year, thru the aftermath of the loss of our angel, and then thru what was a very difficult and stressful pregnancy for me. I cannot express how grateful I am to all of you just for being there.
