We have now had the autopsy report for our wee boy, and it has thrown up several things that have upset me immensely.
I was at 42 weeks on the day he was delivered by C-section, and despite being post-dates my midwife still hadn't organised a post-dates scan.
I had informed her of "watery" discharge 3 weeks earlier, but she seemed to think that it was not out of the ordinary.
I had been in latent phase labour for 7 days on the day he was delivered, but she had done more or less nothing.
When I rang her that morning, (third time in as many days, she had sent me home from delivery suite twice in the 40 hours preceeding), she fobbed me off, she was abrupt, almost rude, and dismissive,and when my husband took me to her clinic about an hour later and insisted she come out to the car to see me she did so only grudgingly, and said she could make it up to dlivery suite in an hour or so.
It was at that point that my husband took me to delivery suite and we asked that the hospital team take over. My son was born by emergency c-section an hour later. By that time it was too late.
There was no amniotic fluid around him at delivery.
The autopsy report now shows that the membranes were infected, and that he in fact had pneumonia as a result. His growth had also stalled. He was only 300g heavier than a scan done almost 8 weeks earlier.
The obstetrician has advised us that despite these things, it was the final abruption that killed him, and that had that not occurred, he would have been sick, but would have recovered.
I'm so incredibly angry that the woman who was supposed to look after he and I did such a lousy job. To know that if she checked the things she should have then he would have been taken by C-section before, (probably well before), his life was put at risk, and indeed lost.
I have made a complaint to the HDC, and told her that I consider her to be 90% responsible for his death, but this afternoon I discovered that one of the young women who works at my daughters' daycare is under this poor excuse for a midwife and it really threw me.
I have said what I can to suggest that she change, and can only hope that she does, but I wonder about her other clients.
In some ways I feel it would be easier if it had been totally unavoidable, and nobodies fault.

Ness ((((Hugs)))

I cannot believe that midwife!!!! That is utterly appauling care and i think I would definitely be telling others to look for alternative care.

After what I/we know now, I cannot believe that women are left to go to 42 weeks or for that matter over 40wks. As for not recieving a scan in that time, it is just criminal I think you have very solid grounds to lay a complaint, especially pointing to her. Gosh this makes me mad!!!!!

As for knowing that your wee man would or could have been here if delivered earlier, I know what you mean. Had my diabetes been picked up 2 weeks earlier, I am sure Satori would be here too. Unfortunately I have nobody to blame - it was just my body doing its thing but masking it If I had somebody to blame, I don't quite know how I would handle it, or for that matter what I would do, bit I know I would be steaming mad

Anyway Ness I am not really sure of anything I can say to help, but to say that we are all here for you should you need to talk, vent or whatever.

Once again - ((((Hugs))))

Yvonne

Oh my gosh Ness, that is truly awful I am soooo sorry to hear what happened to you and feel absolutely appalled at the treatment you received. I would be doing exactly the same thing as you and laying a formal complaint, I have heard far too many stories about incompetent midwives and it scares the living hell out of me.

Lots of big hugs hun

OMG that's just awful.. Big Hugs to you!!

OMG Ness, thats terrible care for a midwife, they're meant to be caring, she doesn't seem that way at all. There were a couple of moments where I though my mw was that way, but she always ended up listening to my concerns. 2 days before we lost Trinity I phoned her and told her about some watery discharge, much like you described, and said I couldn't be sure if it was a leaky bladder as she was very low down, or amniotic fluid. She said if it wasn't much to not be concerned but put a liner in my knickers and keep checking, if it continued to call her again. When I phoned her and told her I wasn't sure that I had felt Trinity moving that day (saturday) she had me drink a cup of tea, eat a bikkie, wait 10 mins and call her back. I know now that either way, this was the best advice, if she was ok, she would have moved, if not, then it was too late. I phoned her back, still no movement, and without alarming me (I still thought everything would be ok), had me go straight to hospital for a scan, and well, the rest is history..........

I say keep up with your complaint, follow it up, do your best to get results. I guess other than that, you have done what you can. Have you written a letter to your mw about your concerns?

but I did phone her last week, in the afternoon after I saw the obstetrician.
She made several excuses, including saying that she had felt I was unhappy with her in the last week or so, and didn't know how to fix that.
Thank you for the website here. This seems like a good place.
Believe it or not, had Tristan been a girl his name would have been Trinity, it's a beautiful name. Both were chosen by my husband.

Hi Ness, first of all huge hugs to you and your DH, what you and the rest of us are experiencing is something I would not wish on my worst enemy.

I cant get over the horrid care that you got from your so called m/w... that is despicable. And good on you for laying a complaint, you said in your first post that you had found out that someone at your daughters daycare had signed on under this m/w and you were unsure weather or not to say anything, if it was me I would, as I would hate to see another mother and baby get that kind of care.

I hope that you get the love and support that you are looking for here, the ladies on here are wonderful and understand what is going on in our minds as we struggle to come to terms with losing our angels. I can honestly say that they have helped me immensley in my journey.
Love and Hugs Sweetie.

Hi Ness,

I can understand the anger and it sounds completely justified. Good on you for laying the complaint. I hope it is investigated fully and you get some results. I think if by laying the complaint that the midwife improves on the way she handles her clients then that is a good outcome as no one else will experience what you have. So good on you.

Take care

Hi Ness,
And wow. super big hugs hun! How wrong it was that you lost your wee baby but OMG at the treatment and non care you got from this particular person.
I commend you greatly for continuing thru with a complaint. This will hopefully get the justice that is deserved but will not bring back your treasured Tristan.
Please keep us informed on how things go hun.
With you all the way