Today should have been Blake’s due date. My husband and I went down to the beach and released some balloons in memory of him. I also wrote his birth story which I would like to share with you all.

Blake’s Story

I married my wonderful husband, Ben in December of 2005. He is from a big family so he has always wanted to have children of our own as soon as possible. In May of 2008, when we were living in the UK, we decided to start trying for a baby. Imagine my surprise when I got pregnant the first month that we started trying!

Everything went well up until the 9th week of my pregnancy. I was at work talking to a colleague when I felt a bit of blood trickle down my leg. I thought to myself, surely it will just be this tiny amount and that will be it. Unfortunately, the blood flow continued and I excused myself and made a dash for the toilet. While in there I lost so much blood that I was certain that I had a miscarriage. In floods of tears I managed to ask my friend to take me to the hospital. On the way there I called Ben and explained what had happened and could he please meet me there? Once at the hospital I had an emergency scan – our beautiful baby was safe. They had no idea what had caused the bleeding but everything was going to be alright. I took the rest of the week off work to recover at home.

Not many months after that, Ben and I decided to return home to NZ. We thought we would have a leisurely trip back, stopping in Singapore for just over a week before the stress of starting new jobs and looking for accommodation began. We arrived back in NZ on a Tuesday. Everything going well, we managed to get settled and find somewhere to live. I also had to arrange a midwife and a 20 week scan to check up on our little baby. The scan was booked for Friday.

On Thursday night I starting getting what I thought were cramps. They were a little painful but I didn’t think too much of it and managed to sleep through the night. The following morning the cramps got much worse but because we had the scan appointment that afternoon we thought that we would check that everything was alright then. At our 20 week scan appointment we found out that we were having a boy! The sonographer also looked at my cervix, as far as she could tell, the cervix was fully closed and she couldn’t explain why I was in so much pain.

After the cramping got even worse I drove myself down to A&E (Ben had a migraine so I thought that I would leave him at home and let him sleep it off). After waiting in A&E for over an hour I got a consultation. I explained my situation, the doctor palpated my stomach asked how much pain I was in, then gave me a couple of tablets of pandol and sent me home!

Back home the pain got so bad that I could barely stand up. This time Ben had to drive me back to A&E. I was admitted straight away and this time an obstetrician did an internal examination. I was 10cm dilated and was told that I was about to lose my baby.

In the delivery ward my contractions started to slow down and the following morning I was seen by a group of doctors. My membranes were bulging out of my cervix but the plan of attack was to give me a drug that would stop my contractions and then an emergency cerclage would be put in. The contractions stopped over the next couple of days giving us some hope however in the very early hours of Monday morning my waters broke. Nothing else could now be done – I would have to deliver our beautiful baby boy.

Blake John was born at 11.19pm on Monday night. He was perfect with a tiny wee button nose, beautiful fingers and toes and tiny blonde eyebrows just like I had when I was younger. Ben and I both got to hold Blake that night. We had photos taken and got finger and foot prints taken. He was then taken away for the night and we had one last cuddle on Tuesday morning before I was discharged from the hospital.

We chose to have Blake cremated and we have his ashes here at home with Mummy and Daddy.

Not a day goes by that I don’t think about my little boy and all of the hopes and ambitions that I had for him. He is my perfect little man and will always be a very special part of our family.

Hi AngelaKate

Thank you for sharing your story about your precious wee boy Blake. It made me cry as do most of the stories here. I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you today and hope that you get through the day.

Thanks for sharing your story Angela hope today went ok for you and Ben.
thinking of you.

to you and DH today AngelaKate. Thanks for sharing your beautiful story.

Thank you for sharing your story.

Angela and Ben, my thoughts are with you today as you remember your wee angel boy Blake.
Thank you for sharing Blake's birth story, it was beautifully written.

Hi Angela,

I'm sorry that I am so late in replying..... I have had heaps of trouble geting onto the site!

Thank you so much for sharing Blakes story with us I hope his due date was gentle on you both, and I am sure that Blake was sendng you both lots of angel hugs and kisses

Take Care

Oh honey

((hugs))

That story brought tears to my eyes