It is currently Wed Jun 19, 2019 11:59 am




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 8 posts ] 
 How to help??? 
Author Message

Joined: Tue Sep 02, 2008 12:02 am
Posts: 123
Post How to help???
Just hoping I can get some advice from those who have been through this horrible time.

It seems like my friend is going to lose her baby due to some issues (she is 21 weeks pregnant). When you went through this what is it you wanted your friends to do?? I am a good 1 and a half from her but have told her that I will be there for when she needs me, but anything else I can do for her??

Thanks all.

_________________
Becks mum to,

Andrew (23/04/04)
Joshua (14/02/07) our little valentine
and an angel in heaven (20/10/01)


Sun Mar 22, 2009 9:46 pm
Profile
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jun 15, 2008 1:52 am
Posts: 229
Location: Invercargill
Post Re: How to help???
Be there for her right thru, encourage her to talk and talk, usually a month after the funeral every one disappears and thats when she will need company. if u are able to help with cooking or doing shopping it was a big help for me. getting hold of some sands brouchures early may help, there are other things u may be able to help her with like taking photos for her, even tho she may not want to look at them now or ever it may be a comfort having them there. oh and if and when she is ready tell her about here and let her know others been thru this

_________________
Image[/[url=http://lafemmebonita.com]Imageurl]


Sun Mar 22, 2009 10:46 pm
Profile YIM
User avatar

Joined: Thu Dec 14, 2006 3:08 pm
Posts: 1708
Location: Rotorua
Post Re: How to help???
Good ideas there Hayley. For me the most important thing was having people around me who were afraid to say Julia's name and acknowledge her IYKWIM? Some people are too scared to say anything so they think it is best to not say anything at all. Has your friend got other children? If so offer to look after them when she is having baby, it was comforting to me to know that I had people to look after DS while we were at the hospital (sure it was my sisters but you get the idea), but the most important thing of all is to just be there for her, show her that you love her (you obviously do otherwise you wouldnt be finding these things out) and that you are there when she needs you, either to rant, vent or just a shoulder to cry on. Sure there may be times when you dont have the answers to her questions but be honest and say that you dont know. I was given a locket when Julia was born with her name and birthdate engraved on the back...maybe if you were thinking a gift something like that??

Hope that helps you out somewhat, and please give your friend a huge hug from me. She is in my thoughts

_________________
Image
Image
ImageImage


Mon Mar 23, 2009 8:41 am
Profile E-mail WWW

Joined: Sat Sep 16, 2006 5:16 pm
Posts: 169
Location: Hamilton
Post Re: How to help???
So sorry to read your friend is going thru this heartbreaking time at the moment.

As Hayley and Carley said is very good advice. They are so right its the month or so afterwards when everyone stops ringing and calling in for coffee that the grief and emotions really start to sink in. I guess that is when the shock of what has happened wears off and you realise what has just happened and that is when you really need that friend. That is from my own experince.

Just be there for her and call the baby by its name and talk to her about the baby and let her talk to you about the baby. I love it when people ask me about my boys and call them by name its like they are being remembered.

And yes when the time is right please let her know we are all here for her and her family.

_________________
:angel:Camden Mark @20.1wks 07/06
:angel:Keegan Leslie @17.4wks 02/07
:angel:Blighted Ovum@8wks 03/08
:angel:Caeden Hugh @21.1wks 10/08

IVF Mummy to 3 Beautiful :angel: Boys!!

An Angel in the book of life
wrote down my baby’s birth
and whispered as she closed the book
"too beautiful for the Earth"


Mon Mar 23, 2009 1:19 pm
Profile

Joined: Tue Nov 11, 2008 7:10 pm
Posts: 224
Post Re: How to help???
the others gave great advice, i just wanted to add how important consistancy is. If you can keep in contact even once a week and let her talk freely that is so important. Go to her place for a coffee (she may not feel like going out for a while) or if you cant go over, just a phone call will show you care and give her an opportunity to talk. Im glad she has such a caring friend as you to be there for her at this awful time

_________________
Image


Mon Mar 23, 2009 9:14 pm
Profile
User avatar

Joined: Tue Mar 25, 2008 9:18 am
Posts: 449
Post Re: How to help???
Hey Becks,

I have sent you a PM though OB, but if you don't get it, let me know and I'll try through here.

Big hugs hun xxx

_________________
ImageImage ImageImage

Image

Image


Mon Mar 23, 2009 9:37 pm
Profile
User avatar

Joined: Wed Feb 13, 2008 9:04 pm
Posts: 740
Location: Dunedin
Post Re: How to help???
:grphug: I am so sorry to hear this. Everyone has offered great advice. The one thing that I found and still do find comforting, is when friends acknowledge Georgia by name. I don't really think I can offer anymore than has been said, but to me, the most important thing was being able to talk to a friend about Georgia whenever I needed to and have them just listen, there was only one person I could do that with before I found you guys, and just by her listening, I found comfort. Big hugs.

_________________
Tracey

Image

Image Image

Image

ImageImage


Mon Mar 23, 2009 10:06 pm
Profile E-mail
User avatar

Joined: Fri Feb 15, 2008 9:03 pm
Posts: 528
Location: Christchurch
Post Re: How to help???
:bighug: :bighug: :bighug: :bighug:

I'm really sorry to hear about your friend. I don't think there is any more advice I can add other than what has already been said. Just be there for her and encourage her to talk about her feelings if she wants to. We are all here for you and her.

xox

_________________
Tanya

Image
Image
Image


Tue Mar 24, 2009 11:04 am
Profile E-mail WWW
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 8 posts ] 


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
cron
Powered by phpBB © phpBB Group.
Designed by Vjacheslav Trushkin for Free Forums/DivisionCore.