I don't want to upset any one, but I am hoping that I might get some help with what to do with my baby's things.

What I mean is, is that I plucked up the courage to take out all our baby clothes and things because i'm trying to decide what to do with everything. I just don't know how i feel about keeping it for our next baby (fingers crossed) or if it would be better to take back the moses basket and car chair and stuff, and give the clothes that i bought last to the health visitor to give to some people that cannot afford much, and then start again when we need to.

There are quite alot of her clothes that are special to me, like things my mum knitted and special little things that were bought for her by friends and family, i will be keeping those.

The problem is that we have a 1 bed flat with very little room, and all the things that the baby should've been using are all stacked away in cupboards and draws so every time i need something i have to pull out everything and then put it back, it hurts every time, but i don't want to put everything in the garage because it just doesn't feel right. To be honest i just do not know what to do.

Anyway when i actually took everything out i couldn't do anything but cry, so i put it back. So i was just wondering how everyone has dealt or is dealing with this. Has anyone kept their first baby's things to give to their little brother or sister when they came along.

That is a good question. I think we have all struggled with that one. I decided to donate half of Nicole's clothes to the hospital, I buried her with some of her toys and then I kept some items separate for her memory box. The big items like the crib etc.. I have put in a cupboard (that thankfully I don't have to open) and I intend to use them again. I also have some clothes that were given to Nicole that I am not sure what to do with yet, I suppose I will use them for a sister if we have one.

Hi Nikki,
I wasn't sure how I felt about using the things we bought for Trinity for our next baby, but Ally said something to me that I thought made sense, if Trinity had lived and we went on to have another we would have used her things, she would have wanted it. I think intially it will be hard, but when I think about it, it's kinda nice, because our next baby will give these things some life (if you know what I mean). I guess it's all in how you look at it. It doesn't really solve your space issue though, we put everything in the nursery and closed the door.

It's really a good question. I have my 2 year old daughters clothes that she's outgrown packed away in boxes to use later if I go on to have another girl. I wasn't sure what to do with Tyler's stuff, but I like how manda put it and agree with her. I think Tyler would want his little brother(if I'm blessed to have another son) to wear his clothes and use his things. That's what I would have done anyhow if tyler would have lived. I would have packed them away to use later if needed. There are a few treasured things that were made for him that I packed away and will never use on another child, but that's just because those things are a little more sentimental to me. Since I was so close to the end of my pregnancy when Tyler died, I had alot of diapers and baby toiletries here to be used on him. I'm from the states, so when Hurricaine Katrina hit, my husband and I donated all the diapers and toiletries to the victims for them to use on their children. So it makes me feel alittle more comforted to know that my son has helped others in need.
I'm not sure if all of this has helped you or not, but it's just one of those things only you can answer.

Bridget

Like everyone has said already, it is a really difficult question. I only have one thing that I had bought for Maria - as we didn't know her sex beforehand and I had all of my son Joel's baby stuff packed away for her. Several times I have opened the wardrobe and seen that one little outfit and it makes me feel very sad.
Something that my midwife said to me was not to make any important decisions while in the midst of the grief. I wonder if there might be somewhere else that you could store all of the baby things, where you don't have to see them. It might be easier to make the decision about whether to keep them, sometime down the track. I would be afraid that you might regret having made a decision so soon.

Hi Nikki,

It's not an easy thing to try and sort out and everyone has dfferent ideas on what they want to do.
I have kept all the new clothes and toys that were bought for Riley and these have gone into a sea chest, to me these were Riley's things. As for the big stuff (pram, change table etc..) I will use for this baby.

I say follow your heart and not to rush into any decisions.

Take care
Jacqui

I like what Manda said about passing the clothes on to the next baby. That makes a lot of senseto me, and makes me feel better about my decision.

One of my friends offered to store some of the larger items for us so we would not have to look at them everyday. Fortunately we have a large amount of storage space in our apatment, so I just put them in a cupborad which I never open, but perhaps a friend or two could help you out with a few items?

Thanks guys

yeah it does make sense to pass your childrens clothes down to the next baby, i had thought that. It helps to hear other peoples experiences, and like you say i don't want to regret my decision. It's just so hard to know what to do and people who have not been through this don't understand the difficulty in deciding.

I think i may give the bigger stuff to my mum then to put in her loft. I think i'll give the excess of baby grows and sleep suits etc. (we bought loads just before we found out) to the hospital or the health visitor, she is probably in the best position to know who is most in need.

You've been a big help thanks x

For me I kept all the special things that were bought/made for Thomas and they are in his memory box, everything else I have got rid of. Except the big things, like the cot, buggy, I still have, I sent the bassinet back to mum in laws as it was hers and it was too hard to look at. But like everyone else has said you have to do whats best for you and it was for 6-8 months after i decided to do this.

Yeah I was thinking at first that i might take back the big things to the shop and get a credit note for the next time then I would be able to get everything new again, but I've decided to wait now and put the things away until i feel more able to decide. Though i am more into the idea of keeping these things now.

I guess in the beginning I had thought that I wouldn't be able bear having my next baby using things that were bought for Jenson because it would sort of seem like I would be denying her existence somehow, because all the things would still be brand new and unused, unlike normal hand-me-downs, but I don't think I see it like that now. I'm starting to see a more positive side to it now.

I hope everyone is ok today

(((((HUGS))))) to you all x