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 Bereaved Parent Wish List 
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Joined: Wed Jul 20, 2005 10:44 pm
Posts: 1117
Location: Auckland, NZ
Post Bereaved Parent Wish List
I found this in an internet site and I just wanted to share with you all

Take care everyone
Jacqui :)

1. I wish my child hadn't died.

2. I wish I had him back.

3. If I cry and get emotional when you talk about my child, I wish you would
know it isn't because you have hurt me. My child's death is the cause of my
tears. You have talked about my child and you have allowed me to share my
grief.

4. I wish you wouldn't "kill" my child again by removing his pictures,
artwork or other rememberences from your home.

5. Being a bereaved parent is not contagious, so I wish you wouldn't shy
away from me. I need you now more then ever.

6. I need diversions, so I do want to hear about you, but I also want you to
hear about me. I might be sad and I might cry, but I wish you would let me
talk about my child, my favorite topic of the day.

7. I know that you think of and pray for me often. I also know that my
child's death pains you too. I wish you would let me know those things
through a phone call, a card, a note or a real big hug.

8. I wish you wouldn't expect my grief to be over in six months. These first
months are traumatic for me, but I wish you could understand that my grief
will never be over. I will suffer the death of my child untill the day I
die.

9. I am working very hard on my recovery but I wish you could understand
that I will never fully recover. I will always miss my child, and I will
always grieve that he is dead.

10. I wish you wouldn't expect me "not to think about it" or to "be happy"
Neither will happen for a very long time.

11. I don't want to have a "pity party" but I do wish you would let me
grieve. I must hurt before I heal.

12. I wish you understood how my life has been shattered. I know it is
miserable for you to be around me when I'm feeling miserable. Please be
patient with me as I am with you.

13 When I say,"I am doing okay" I wish you could understand that I don't
"feel" okay and that I struggle daily.

14. I wish you knew that all of the grief reactions that I'm having are
normal. Depression, anger, hopelessness, and overwhelming saddness are all
to be expected. So please excuse me when I'm quiet and withdrawn or
irritable and cranky.

15. Your advice to "take one day at a time" is excellent advice. However, a
day is to much and fast for me right now. I wish you could understand that I
am doing good to handle one hour at a time.

16. Please excuse me if I seem rude, that's certainly not my intent.
Sometimes the world around me goes too fast and I need to get off. When I
walk away I wish you would let me find a quiet place to be alone.

17. I wish you understood that grief changes people. When my child died, a
big part of me died with him. I am not the same person I was before my child
died, and I will never be that person again.

18. I wish very much that you could understand my loss and grief, my silence
and my tears, my void and my pain. BUT, I pray daily that you will never
understand!

_________________
DD Tylar 10
Angel Riley Born Sleeping, 38wks
14 angels M/C
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Mon Aug 15, 2005 3:16 pm
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Joined: Thu Jul 14, 2005 8:06 pm
Posts: 1455
Location: Auckland
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Oh that is so true! Thanks for sharing!

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~*Mummy to now SIX angels ~ I miss you my babies ~


Mon Aug 15, 2005 3:21 pm
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Joined: Sat Jul 16, 2005 3:01 pm
Posts: 1689
Location: Auckland
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Thanks for sharing Jacqui, that is soo true.

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MANDA
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Mon Aug 15, 2005 3:28 pm
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Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2005 8:43 pm
Posts: 1315
Location: Whatawhata, Hamilton
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That is too true, Thanks heaps for sharing.

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Mon Aug 15, 2005 6:41 pm
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