Am feeling really down today.
The wonderful news that Amanda is expecting again has really hit a cord with me, don't get me wrong its awesome news, it just brings it all home again that I may never be in that position again as suckky DH has already said that he doesn't want to try again.
I have even had the naughty idea go through my head of just coming off the pill and not telling him and just seeing what happens, but I know there is too much of a risk of us losing our next baby as well, if only Dh would agree to going through the selective sampling side where his good swimmers were picked out then we wouldn't have any problems. But he's being a typical stubborn pigheaded male, and not understanding my desire to be pregnant again and extending out beautiful family.
I know that if we were to try for another baby, we would be well looked after by specialist care, and that our angel Julia would look after us too, but there isn't much that I can do at this stage, except feel like a complete failure, and live vicariously through other people's pregnancies and feel bl@@dy jealous.
Anyway thats how I feel today
Carley

Oh babe I am so sorry, I too am finding the news of people getting pregnant hard as deep down I wanted one more, but know we cant.

Big hugs babe and I am here if you ever wanna chat.

Huggles
Kim

thanks Kim,
just feeling really sucky today, maybe i didn't get enuf sleep last night, had to milk the stupid cows this morning.!YUCK

Oh no, yeah I not feeling very good today, Timothy has conjunctivitis so is very clingy and grizzly.

Sounds like you BOTH need big hugs!



I hope you and your DH can talk it thru Carley and come to a decision you can both live with coz it sounds like you are really torn atm. I'd love to have just one more but Willie says a big NO, but I must admit to secretly hoping he'll change his mind...

Big hugs Carley
I imagine that must be sooo hard. I really hope that given time, your hubby will come around. I guess the thing is to keep your communication open whatever happens. After losing Maria, I found it so hard to be around pregnant women, I felt so jealous and bitter.

I wish I could do something to make it all better! I get so angry that so many of us have to suffer in this way.

Hi all,
Wel the weekend only got suckier from there.
I found out yesterday that a lady that I knew at playcentre who was due the week after I was had her baby at the weekend, a little girl 8lb 14oz.
It just hit home that I should be here with our little girl not trying desperately to heal a broken heart
I must admit when I got the news I did have another good cry and felt better after that, don't get me wrong I'm very happy for this lady and her family, I just wish it was us that were celebrating too.
Carley

Just wanted to send lots of your way.

Take care
Jacqui

Oh Carley

{{HUGGS}} I'm sure we can all admit to having those same feelings at some time too. For me, it used to really hit home when I would see ladies in town with lovely big pregnant tummies. I used to secretly call them SB's (smug belly's) as they just seemed so pleased with themselves and somehow appeared to me to be flaunting their pregnancy. I know it was completely illogical to think that they were doing this on purpose but I was just so envious and a wee bit ! I still struggle sometimes when I see a baby that would be the same age as our angel and think that instead of having a 7 month old I should have a 19 month old........but then I wouldn't have my darling Angus would I?

I hope this week is better for you. [/i]