Oh Carley
,
The pain will never really go away, it's been said hundreds of times here, but it always helps to hear it again, you will learn to live around the pain and it does get easier to bear, it becomes a part of you. It's been 21 months since we lost Trinity and still I have moments where I just want to curl up into a ball and sob. What I wouldn't give to have her back, or just to hold her one more time. Sometimes I can sit and smile when I think of her, other times it's painful, and you can never predict those moments. You will find the strength to put the bassinette away one day, don't rush yourself, or if you really can't bear to look at it then perhaps you can find someone who can out it away for you (I would if I were closer).
If I could just add, there will come a time when you will embrace the pain, the last line of 'A Mother Without a Child' explains it best for me (in the Stories section if you haven't seen it).
Quote:
Even as I struggle with the sadness that the loss of my son has unleashed in my life, I am comforted by the way my grief returns with faithful potency every time I fear I may be forgetting. It is the gaping hole in my life, where my baby and I were supposed to be together, that reminds me that I am still very much his mother. Whatever I fear now, it is not that my grief will never heal. My greatest fear is that it will.
