Yesterday (19th Aug) was the 2 month anniversary of Trinitys birth/death, I knew it was coming but though I'd be fine. Well as it turns out I roamed the house and couldn't focus on anything. Everything got to me. I have to start thinking about working again soon as my car broke down and it cost a small fortune to fix, that small fortune was going to give me an extra couple of weeks when my maternity payments ran out. I've been using ovulation predictors and taking my temp but still have no signs of O'ing, and thats just filling my head with all sorts of bad thoughts like I'm never going to O again, my ship has sailed and I missed my chance. I know it's only early days, and I'm sure it'll all work out in the end, but I just feel so useless sometimes, I was meant to be a mother, I was prepared to be a mother, I feel like I've lost my purpose, I lost a part of my identity. Now I have to learn to be this new person that I have become. Just had to have a little vent, thanks.

Manda,
I'm so sorry you had a rough day.
I guess its the road we all have to go down after losing our precious babies. No one can do it for us can they?
I just want to encourage you to grieve all you have to and don't let anyone stop you,its so important in the early days.
I know it sucks and its so unfair,yes you should be looking after your baby,not having to grieve for her as well as worry about everything else thats going on.

Don't worry your body will do what its supposed to when its ready to do it!
I know that probably all you want to do is be pg again,I know how that feels and its so scary,I used to think what if I'm too old and can never get pg again!
But it did happen and it will for you too.
Just try to get through one day at a time,thats what I used to say to myself and I would really encourage you to join a support group and get as much support as you can from family and friends.
I am here for you anytime,email me or add to me to instant messenger.
Thinking of you

Big (((HUGS))) Manda

Am here if you need to talk.

frampton_k@hotmail.com on msn messenger if you want to add me. That goes for anyone.

Huggles

Kim

My msn is sonshine126@hotmail.com,anyone can add me or I can be emailed at the same addy.

Manda I am sorry you are having a rough time. It is really hard, but it will get easier. Grieve all you can, I remember crying every day for months, then all of a sudden it was weekly, now I still cry monthly. I still miss my angel.... I know it is hard but be gentle on yourself, your body will be ready again soon.

big ((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))).

I have added some of you to my MSN who have given there email addresses, anyone else feel free to add me to yours,

Hi girls,
thanks for all the replies, I've gotten Corey to set up msn for me so will add you all, ffel free to add me mandy@thelostones.co.nz

Me too!
jartuch@hotmail.com

Jenn