Well I never saw the day that I would come back on here, I have just felt kinda wrong entering this site again, I can not explain it because I don't know why.
Alot of you will remember our lil "Crunchie bar girl" and her grand entrance she made into this world, and some of you will have read her site ( www.lainesanangel.memory-of.com) and learnt about her departure aswell. If you have not been onto Laines site please do and light a candle to show you have been and there is a link thru to Eden's site also.

I dont really know what I should say here, I have so much to say yet it all sounds so wrong, so will be very brief for now.....

SIDS....
This was the cop out, the coward killer that stole our "whawha", "puppy". "crunchie" from us.
This is the decision that has been reached to date.
We still await test results looking for LQTS (LONG Q-T SYNDROME) .
This result is still months off and so till then SIDS it is.


Thank you again everyone ((All you oldies...hehe)) for all the cards and the gifts. The Angel Wind chime is in my room and tinkles every now and then through the night for no reason at all, when no wind blows and there is no movement at all.

And a few pictures to remember our girl forever by....

Lisa, welcome back, our hearts have all been breaking for you since you lost little Laine, I feel like i know you, but can't imagine the pain you are gong through. What beautiful pictures of Laines hands, and a precious photo of you and here together. She was so beautiful, taken too soon.

Please come visit us again.

Take care and huge hugs to you and your family

Luv Ally

Welcome back Lisa - as we have said before - you are always welcome and among friends here.

The photos are simply gorgeous.

I'm sure you will have seen the candles I have lit for little Laine and your family. I visit her site often and have spoken to my DH about visiting her gravesite in Auckland sometime too. I would love to visit you as well but I'm unsure if you would want this.

Please know that we all think of you, Ian, Kita, Eden and Laine. You will always be part of TheLostOnes family.

(((((BIG HUGS)))))

Claire and family

Hugs Lisa, I still really don't know what to say but wanted to let you know that we too are thinking of you and Laine and your family often.
Emma

Hi Lisa,
Just wanted to say that my thoughts are with you and your whole family at this time. I have had a look at Laine's and Eden's site and they are both beautifully done. I have lit a candle on each one too
((((((((((((BIG HUGS))))))))))) to you at this heartwrenching time
Carley

Hi Lisa,
Firstly, thank you for visiting us again here!
Secondly, if my typing is fill of errors its because I can stop the tears from falling after just reading her beautiful site and lighting a candle for her and your family!
I miss our little crunchie girl soooo much , I am just speachless still!
Thinking of Liane and Eden together dancing happily and watching down on their family!
Big ((((HUGS))))) to you Lisa and your family.
Please visit us again when you can
Lynne

Lisa,
I'm so glad you came back, but not glad you had to come back to this section. I was ony just thinking of you, your family and wee Laine thismorning, and my heart still breaks for you and I have a bit of a cry, sometimes the tears don't flow, but they're there, I can feel them welling up inside. I wish I could have met the crunchie bar girl, her pics were always full of character right from the start. We're all still here for you, whether you pm one or more of us or share with all of us.

Lots of love and hugs, hope you find the strength to visit us again soon.

take care....

Lisa, I am so sorry for your loss of Laine. My heart breaks for you. I can't imagine your pain and I wish there was something I could do to help.
Thanks for saharing your photos, they are beautiful.
Jenn

Oh Lisa ((hugs)) my heart breaks for you and your family ((hugs)) I'm not sure of what to say - but I am thinking of you all ((hugs))

Just beautiful, those photo's are goregous.
Thank you Lisa for popping in and taking the time to share those photo's.
My heart just aches for you and your family.
Big Hugs and lots of luv and thoughts to you.

Take care
Jacqui

I have been going through all our thousands of pictures trying to work out what ones to share with you all then remembered that there are some on Laine's site....silly me. I then thought that I would share some of Laine after she passed away but then after looking at them again myself decided that I would rather you all remember her as she was...beautiful!

Thank you all for your support, I have many days where I could just give up on it all, If it was not for Nikita I would say that I would be with my girls now. So for Kita I guess I am grateful?
Many things have changed and I feel so much guilt cause now when I go to the girls I can not stop thinking about Laine, yet then I feel like I am pushing Eden out of my thoughts. When people say to me that it must be hard to have lost two, my first thoughts are to say "No I have not lost them I know exactly were they are", and then it is like well actually I don't think I think about it having been two cause all I can think about is one at a time. I think If I thought too hard and thought of both of them I would havae gone completely mad by now.

Hi Lisa,
I'm sure that if i had been thru the double tragedy that you have been thru I would most definitely be completley bonkers by now. You are a very strong person and a very brave person and I have great admiration in you.

Carley

Hi Lisa,

You shouldn't feel guilty for only being able to think about Laine more than Eden at the moment. I'm sure Eden understands, you are still greiving for them both but still in the early stages of greiving for Laine.

(((hugs))) to Kita for giving her Mummy the love and support she needs.

Hi Lisa, thanks for sharing your gorgeous photos of little Laine. I too don't know what to say except that you and your family have been in my thoughts a lot in the last few months. I don't know if you remember Dr. Catherine Oconnor who is a paediatric registrar, she looked after Laine in the hospital. She was on leave when Laine passed away so hadn't heard till I asked her if she had known you. She cried when she heard your sad news.

I can't imagine what it would be like having 2 angels in heaven, don't be too hard on yourself about only being able to think about one at a time.

Thanks for being so brave in coming back to visit this site again - we are all here for you! I think you are amazing.

I could never forget Catherine Oconnor, How could anyone forget that Lovely beaming smile!?
How do you know her?
I know it has touched some of the Neonatal staff deeply, even one of the staff who I don't think anyone has ever seen show emotion has shown it over Laine, She was the same staff member with Eden when she passed and has seen many many pass away and till now noone I have spoken to has seen this side of her.
I stay in touch with many of the staff and it was actually two of the nurses who carried Laine into the service.


I don't see my self as strong, just plodding for Kita and some how doing it.

Thanks or listening to my mummbling.

I've known Catherine since primary school, she's been a good friend through the years.
It's wonderful to hear how supportive the hospital staff have been to you, I don't know how they cope emotionally with facing death every day in their jobs.