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 Husband doesn't want TTC 
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Joined: Thu Aug 28, 2008 9:36 am
Posts: 2
Post Husband doesn't want TTC
My son was stillborn on 13/7/07 - of course at the time it was very upsetting. My husband didn't want to see our son and to this day still will not look at any photos or even mention him by name (or anything about him for that matter) - I am not saying that he in insensitive I think its quite the opposite - last year I suggested that we TTC but he didn't want too and said he needed more time - so I went on the pill for another 6 months (each month was really hard as I so would love a child) now that the 6 months is up he has told me he doesn't want to try as "he can't go through that again"
We have been told that there is about a 3 to 4% chance of this happening again - so pretty minimal.

I don't know what to do - I don't want to pressure him, but he has always agreed that we would have a family and I feel like he is backing out and using this as an excuse (I am wondering if he ever wanted kids) or maybe its my mind in overtime?

We are great friend and have heaps of fun together - but I think we are more friend than husband & wife i.e. we hardly ever do it now, and I feel now that if I insitgate it he thinks I'm only trying to get pregnant ggggrrrrrrrrrrr

Also people are always on at me in sly little way about us trying again - I am really starting to feel a bit down on it all.

Also to make things worse my husband it not a talker - so if I mention anything its always 'we'll discuss it later'

I purchased him a book about having a stillborn baby and there is a great fathers section - but he hasn't read it - and he will not see a councillor!!!

I'm stuck.... help...........

Tue Jan 27, 2009 11:11 am
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Joined: Wed Feb 13, 2008 9:04 pm
Posts: 740
Location: Dunedin
Post Re: Husband doesn't want TTC
Ooooh thats a tricky one, sorry I don't have anything helpful to suggest really, I can understand why he would be hesitant about going through another pregnancy, but as for saying no not ever, well....:huh:?? Hopefully some others will have some advice for you. All I can offer is a hug and to let you know that we are all here for you. :grphug:



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Tue Jan 27, 2009 6:52 pm
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Joined: Mon Nov 17, 2008 1:17 pm
Posts: 79
Location: Wellington
Post Re: Husband doesn't want TTC
Hi Jess,

So sorry to hear of your loss. Maybe you could talk to a councillor who may be able to suggest some ideas or advice? Sorry I can’t be of more help.


DS, Blake John, S/B October 2008


Tue Jan 27, 2009 8:09 pm
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