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 Birth choices for subsequent babies after angels? 
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Joined: Sun Aug 03, 2008 11:49 pm
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Post Birth choices for subsequent babies after angels?
Something's been bugging me lately.

It seems like an elective caesarian is the top birth choice for subsequent babies of most of the angel mums on the SandsUK site.

I know it's not my place to judge and I never would. But I can't help being a little saddened, if that's the right word?

One baby today arrived at 34+5 elective casear because that's when his sibling died and now baby is having trouble breathing etc from coming so early. But they're all so happy like it doesn't matter he's low on oxygen?

I know that in the end a healthy happy baby is what matters. And I can understand mums being terrified of things happening the same way again, hence birthing before that point next time.

But at what point does the next baby 'pay' for what happened before?

Gaah this is doing my head in, trying so hard not to judge. I just think that within reason each preg should be treated with its own merits? Maybe I'm wrong, and who am I to talk? My own future birth is already so messed up from what has come about since Darien. :?


What are your thoughts? Can I ask if anyone is considering a 'natural' birth this time round? Or not? sorry to be nosy.

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Wed Nov 19, 2008 8:31 pm
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:lol: I have to laugh, this is something I was thinking about last week when I was looking at birth plans!! I had much the same thoughts as you.
I am going for a "natural" birth myself (drug assisted I feel) and honestly the thought scares the crap outta me!
I am with you on the thought that each pg should be treated on its own merits.

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Wed Nov 19, 2008 8:40 pm
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Yeah I'm kind of scared too, cause I know that everything's NOT ok sometimes. But then, I don't want to be cheated out of a *normal* birth for something that might not even happen this time, ya know?

You can do it Tracey, go for it :D hehehe

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Jess, mum to Xander 5yrs, Emily 3yrs, and Darien stillborn at 28+4 on 16th June 08 from a Concealed Placental Abruption. Our new hope Lorelai born May 5th 09!
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Wed Nov 19, 2008 8:47 pm
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yeah I dont want to have a c-section unless I have to. I am further along now that I was with Georgia and each day I get more fearful. I guess we are all a bit like that in here!

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Wed Nov 19, 2008 9:05 pm
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Yes this time it doesn't even seem real, it's weird... :?

('Cept my butt knows this preg is real, it's gone up a whole pants size LOL :oops: )

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Jess, mum to Xander 5yrs, Emily 3yrs, and Darien stillborn at 28+4 on 16th June 08 from a Concealed Placental Abruption. Our new hope Lorelai born May 5th 09!
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Wed Nov 19, 2008 9:11 pm
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I KNOW!! Its a sureal feeling, especially with my bra squeaks under protest at the moment!!

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Wed Nov 19, 2008 9:19 pm
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Yours does that too? LOL :lol:

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Jess, mum to Xander 5yrs, Emily 3yrs, and Darien stillborn at 28+4 on 16th June 08 from a Concealed Placental Abruption. Our new hope Lorelai born May 5th 09!
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Wed Nov 19, 2008 9:21 pm
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Good so I'm not the only one! We should start a poll on squeaky bras.

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Wed Nov 19, 2008 9:24 pm
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GG's Mum wrote:
Good so I'm not the only one! We should start a poll on squeaky bras.


:rofl:

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Jess, mum to Xander 5yrs, Emily 3yrs, and Darien stillborn at 28+4 on 16th June 08 from a Concealed Placental Abruption. Our new hope Lorelai born May 5th 09!
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Wed Nov 19, 2008 9:52 pm
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I had a natural birth after my baby loss. I was induced at 37 weeks. I definately would not have had a c section just cause of my lost angel.


Thu Nov 20, 2008 6:27 am
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hi all, well as you may or may not know I am having a elective c section, but it is purely and simply because of two factors.1) because of my antibodies, this way they can control the delivery, and 2) because I am having my tubes done at the same time, this has been a long hard road through this pregnancy and unfortunatley I will have to go thru it every time I get pregnant, plus we had decided when I got pregnant with Julia that she would be our last one too, but alas that wasnt meant to be, so this IS the last one.

I put in one of my updates that I was petrified of having a natural delivery as I did with Julia, mainly for the fact that I didnt know what it was like to deliver a full term baby, Bayden was an emergency c section after 14 hours of labour.

I think it is a very personal decision and no matter what the mum to be decides to do, it is a hard decision and one that is not taken lightly and thought of to be the "easy option"...so IMO each to their own and we should respect the decisions that have been made, even if we dont agree with them.

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Thu Nov 20, 2008 9:13 am
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HI

Sorry my last post sounded quite harsh. (too early in the morning for me lol)

I totally agree with Carley, it all depends on the circumstances. For me I had had 3 normal vag births and there was no reason for me to have a C sec. But there are so many cases where it is the only option. I think whatever you feel is right for you.


Thu Nov 20, 2008 11:13 am
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Thank you for your replies, Carley and Ally.

I'm sorry Carley I didn't mean any offense with my post, and apologise if it came across as awful. :? I hadn't seen your update so didn't know of your situation. Your reasons sound very very very valid to me! (not that my opinion matters lol)

I agree, it is an immensely personal decision and not one made lightly that's for sure! What's right for one is not right for another, and there are a lot of things to factor into it.

I guess from my point of view I'm railing against being encouraged to have a c/s because of what *might* happen, but for no more reason than that (i.e. labour risks.)

You should have seen the look on my OB's face when I said I wanted a vaginal trial if baby is breech LOL. A bit like this ----------> :shock:

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Jess, mum to Xander 5yrs, Emily 3yrs, and Darien stillborn at 28+4 on 16th June 08 from a Concealed Placental Abruption. Our new hope Lorelai born May 5th 09!
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Thu Nov 20, 2008 3:05 pm
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Jessie,your original post didnt sound offensive at all...:smile:

I cant believe that the Drs are trying to push you into a c section :shock: as my m/w said to me last week, it is your body and how you want to deliver is up to you, if you find that you arent getting the suuport that you need then maybe you might want to find a medical team that can support your decisions and do what you want.

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Thu Nov 20, 2008 6:06 pm
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Gosh none of these posts at all would cause offence.
ITs a choice and one I bet not taken lightly for those that have suffered loss.
I do think a huge factor in this all would be the safety arrival of our precious little ones, but also we need a healthy sound and well mum there too, so if this is brought on by certain decisions then that is right for that family.
Personally I couldn't do early c section like the first post mentioned,but hey that persons risks may have out weight the risk of this new baby.
Each to their own...as long as I can become a TLO's aunty to all and see lots and lots of pictures of the cute wee babies you are all growin

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Thu Nov 20, 2008 10:43 pm
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I had a c section for Eloise because the Dr said she was too big. Yeah right.
Chloe was a 'natural' delivery and Aidan was too. I really wanted a homebirth but they weren't really comfortable with that, plus I changed MW's at 34 weeks and the one I changed to doesn't do homebirths.
VBAC is the way I went because I never want another c section unless I medically have to.

Carley, I completely understand your reason for wanting one, those antibodies would put the fear of vaginal delivery in me too!!

What :shock: me in the first post is the fact that those parents chose to have their next baby born at the same gestational age that the baby they lost. It's almost like they want that baby to replace the one they lost, in a way (to me anyway). And he's having problems breathing? Well, of course he is, he wasn't ready to come out. *sigh* I hope he is ok...

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Fri Nov 21, 2008 3:20 pm
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