The LOST Ones
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Stuffed Up :(
http://www.thelostones.co.nz/phpbb3/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=1517
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Author:  GG's Mum [ Mon Mar 16, 2009 9:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Stuffed Up :(

Well I have made a major mistake and lost one of my best friends.
Long story short:
My friend and her sister were very close and I get on well with her sister too, my friend was having some troubles and her sister gave her some advice that she didnt like and they stopped talking. I agreed with the sister's advice to her but didnt push the issue. Things got worse for my friend and I didnt know what to do, so I updated her sister hoping she could help, neither of them was going to suck it up and make nice with the other, but the sister was telling the mother all the things I was worried about. I knew this and hoped that somewhere my friend would get help, preferably from the mother.
My friend found out, via the mother that I have been telling the sister things and now she is furious with me, she will never forgive me for betraying her trust. I can see her point there, yes I did go behind her back but I was only trying to get her the help she needed, I couldnt help her by myself. I don't know what to do.........

Author:  queenbean [ Mon Mar 16, 2009 9:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Stuffed Up :(

:bighug: Tracey, it sucks when you are only acting in their best interests and it blows up in your face. Hopefully she will eventually see that you are trying to be a good friend.

Author:  GG's Mum [ Mon Mar 16, 2009 9:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Stuffed Up :(

its just gotten worse, her partner is attacking me via text now. The trouble is he has no idea of the trouble she is in, he thinks I have been gossiping about all their business. I am at the point where I am going to tell him, but I can't without it causing a major upset in their relationship.

Author:  Julia's Mum [ Tue Mar 17, 2009 10:26 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Stuffed Up :(

Aw Tracey that totally sucks!! It really bugs you when you are only trying to help someone and it back fires. As for the husband texting you and attacking you that isnt on, I would tell him what is actually happening and then just step out of the problem and let them deal with it, and hopefully in time your friend will realise that you were only trying to help her and she will come back to you. Until then Doll you have us :D

Author:  Sunshine [ Tue Mar 17, 2009 5:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Stuffed Up :(

HI Tracey
Yes, I understand, and walk in your shoes, several times over.
All I can add is as you have a clear conscience, then let it slide. Tell the husband to go ask his wife what her problem is, himself, and leave them to it. If she values your friendship she will come back when she sees reason.....but don't hold your breath.
In the meantime
Love & hugs
Rae

Author:  *lynne* [ Tue Mar 17, 2009 9:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Stuffed Up :(

hugs tracey.
I agree with Rae (what wisdom she has :D )..
It really does suck and I have kinda been in situation too. But i had the mother have a go at me...I just told her the truth straight up and said "why would I do such things, if this was my bestie"....in the end (About a year later) the friend came back to me, we cleared the air, she realised it was her depression that got in the way of clear judgement and we have slowly brought our friendssip closer again.
Here any day if ya need a hug or coffee hun.
I would just txt the same thing back to her hunny all the time...he will get sick of it and leave ya alone....just keep saying...Talk to your wife!

Author:  GG's Mum [ Tue Mar 17, 2009 9:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Stuffed Up :(

Thanks for all your support and advice, my friend came around tonight to discuss things. She was angry a) because I had been talking about her and b) because I had been "slagging" her parenting skills off. a) is true, b) is not. I would never do that, she is a great mum with a 3 year old and a 2 year old, she copes so well. She realised that some things that I had apparently said were not right because her mother said "don't ruin your friendship over this, but don't trust her"!! For some reason the mother had twisted everything around that she had heard from both her daughters to make me look bad, which obviously did not help the situation of me talking about her troubles to her sister. Anyway, she has realised that while yes I did tell her sister some things I probably shouldn't have, I was doing it because I care. But in no way did I ever question her parenting skills. Hells, she is one person I ask for advice from about Shawna!! I know our relationship will never be the same, but at least now I know that her mother doesnt think much of me - I am just not sure why. As for the hubby, he text thismorning to apologise for going off at me, he said he just doesnt understand why its all happened.

Author:  Dragonfly [ Tue Mar 17, 2009 10:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Stuffed Up :(

:bighug:

Author:  GG's Mum [ Wed Mar 18, 2009 4:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Stuffed Up :(

OMG it must be my week for it! Now one of my workmates is furious with me! He told me that he was talking to our manager and there is some restructuring coming up that might have a lot of impact on my position. So I phoned the office to find out what was going on, only to be told that its all just throwing ideas around at the moment and not to worry. I then get a call from the one who told me saying I betrayed his trust by telling the manager!! Excuse me for worrying about my future!!! Just because I am on leave does not mean they can leave me in the dark about things. I am seriously fed up this week!!

Author:  Sunshine [ Wed Mar 18, 2009 4:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Stuffed Up :(

Hugs Tracey
I can answer your "
Quote:
As for the hubby, he text thismorning to apologise for going off at me, he said he just doesnt understand why its all happened
" because someone forgot to put brain in gear before mouth went into action.
It will take time, and things may never be the way they were, but you will still find you will share your friendship as both of you would miss it too much.
:bighug:
Rae xox

lynne ...thanks honey for the vote of confidence :kiss: :bighug:

Author:  *lynne* [ Fri Mar 20, 2009 6:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Stuffed Up :(

Oh hun, sorry to hear you have had more crap happening to you. It seems some weeks its better to not talk to anyone just in case aye.
Hope this week will be a better one for you hun. hugs

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