The LOST Ones
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Something I read Today
http://www.thelostones.co.nz/phpbb3/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=1537
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Author:  BouncyNz [ Sat Apr 04, 2009 1:47 am ]
Post subject:  Something I read Today

I read this on Bereaved parents message board on Tm today I Hope the person who put it there doesnt mind me posting it here. For me It sums up how I feel and how lot of others do.

DONT ask us if we are over it yet, we'll never be over it, a part of us died with our child.
DONT tell us they are in a better place, They are not here with us where they belong.
DONT say at least they are not suffering, we havent come to terms with why they suffered at all.
DONT tell us least we have other children, which of your children would you have sacraficed?
DONT ask us if we are better, Bereavement isnt a condition that clears up.
DONT force your beliefs on us, not all of us have same faith.
DONT tell us God never gives us more than we can bear, right now we dont think we can handle anything else.
DONT avoid us, we dont have a contagious disease, just unbearable pain.
DONT tell us you know how we feel, unless you have lost a child, no other loss can compare to losing a child.
DONT take our anger personally, we dont know who we are angry with or why, we lash out at those closest to us.
DONT whisper behind us when we enter a room, we are in pain not deaf.
DONT stop calling us after the initial loss, our grief does not stop there and we need to know you are thinking of us.
DONT be offended if we dont return calls right away, we take each moment as it comes, some are worse than others.
DONT tell us to get on with our lives, we grieve differently in our own time frame, grief can not be governed by any clock or calendar.

DO say you are sorry, But we'd rather hear nothing if they are cliches you dont mean.
DO put your arms around us and hold us, we need your strength to get through each day.
DO say you remember our child if you do, memories are all we have left and we cherish them.
DO talk to us about our child, our child lives in our hearts forever.
DOmention our childs name, it will not make us sad or hurt feelings.
DO let us Cry, Cry with us if you want too.

Author:  TrinityClair [ Sat Apr 04, 2009 8:00 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Something I read Today

I'm sure they won't mind, That one has been around for a long time. i really love it, I kinda wish someone would print it off and maybe put it with the SANDS packs at hospitals for families.
Thanks for posting it again :D

Author:  Vanessa [ Sun Apr 05, 2009 8:59 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Something I read Today

I love it, its so acurate and everyone, not just those who have lost an angel, should read it. Thanks for that.

Author:  *lynne* [ Sun Apr 05, 2009 7:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Something I read Today

oh so tru.
What a lovely message

Author:  Liam'sMum [ Sun Apr 05, 2009 8:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Something I read Today

That is soooooo true!

Author:  InexorableSadness [ Mon Apr 06, 2009 4:50 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Something I read Today

I got those horrible comments a lot. The one I got the most, however, is this one: "Oh Jessica, he might've had some problems or he might have ended up handicapped or something."

Handicapped? Problems? How is that supposed to make me feel better? He was perfect, and even if he wasn't he was still my child. No problems or conditions would have made me love him less. People are so ignorant sometimes.

Glad you posted this, because it's true. If only people who hadn't lost their children read things like this more often. :(

Author:  ~*Telly*~ [ Mon Apr 06, 2009 2:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Something I read Today

Thats so true
Thanks for posting it

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