Hi everybody, just feeling sad today so thought id write it out.
I miss Ezra heaps. Its confusing because the last few months life has been easier. I can enjoy things again and while he is stil constantly in my thoughts life has generally been easier. However I feel like it has been this way because i dont really go to deep into those thoughts iykwim? I try not to think about the fact i dont have him with me and all that we're missing out on. Last night my father in law casually commented on his name and how it had the same initials as my DH. This was the first time he had ever said Ezra's name and the first time anybody had said it out loud for months. He then talked about the problems his daughter and her monther had because they shared intials too. ie. using your credit card, mixing up mail...All i could think is that we will never have those 'problems' and how much i wished we could have them. It left me feeling empty. I've always wished people would talk about him more but why do i feel so bad when they finallly do??
How do you find the right balence of thinking about your angels without it hurting so bad?

must be the week for it i feeling like crap to due date of my first m/c dont really know how to get threw it with out being a total nutter everyone does forget all i can say is be kind to yourself and cry if you want ((((hugs )))))

Hey Debs

Sorry your not doing so good at the moment. I think your grief must go in cycles. Like you I start feeling a bit better and then when I think about Seb I feel very empty. I wonder what his personality would have been like, who he would look like, etc. If we go to a family party its just upsets me because he will never be a part of this. I have found that nobody in our family even says his name. Apart from my mum they only refer to 'the baby'. I want to sceam at them. I found Saturday hard as that was my due date. Even my hubby told me I was spending too much time on this website and we should move on with our lives.

Anyway just wanted to let you know you are not alone in how you are feeling.

Take care
Sarah

Debs and Summersmum and Sarah.

Sorry you are all feeling a bit down this week. I am a bit the same unfortunately. I started back at work today which was actually fine. The kids were all really well behaved and at one point they were playing with the dolls and they all named their babies Dreyton which I thought was really cute and sweet. But I was meant to be taking Dreyton to work with me. I've actually gone back early, I wasn't meant to go back until July but still I was meant to be taking him with me. It sux big time!

Sorry I can't help! Hope you all feel better soon.

Nat

hi
i dont even tell my hubby i go on these sites i think they only understand to a point it was us that where having these beautiful babies and it is our bodies that have to go back to normal they try but really cant fully
natanddylan glad everything went ok at work i gave up when i was preggy and really dont think i will go back i dont want to do that job anymore and just hoping that i am preggy soon maybe that is my problem to much time on my hands i sit at computer alot looking at sites etc maybe not so good for me but i really dont feel like going out my door some days