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 INTRODUCTIONS 
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Joined: Sat Feb 23, 2008 7:35 am
Posts: 2
Location: New Plymouth
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Hi there,
My name is Melissa Joseph and I have four beautiful kids Arvin (6) Crystal (5) Eleanor (2) and Gabrielle (1). I lost our beautiful twin girls Phoebe and Sabrina Keith on 30 October 1999. They were only 19 weeks gestation. I want to thank you for creating such an amazing and beautiful website. My heart goes out to all Mums, and thank you for sharing your beautiful photos of your babies. You all are very very brave and I am so so glad that I am not alone anymore. I am grateful because back in 1999 there weren't any discussion groups or grief counselling available, and you can't go looking for others who have lost babies as well. I look forwrd to chatting to you all.
Melissa
:)

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Melissa


Sat Feb 23, 2008 7:46 am
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Joined: Thu Dec 14, 2006 3:08 pm
Posts: 1708
Location: Rotorua
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Hi Melissa, first if all I would like to say welcome to the club that no one wants to join. My name is Carley married to Phill and SAHM to Baydden 5 and our angel girl Julia Rose-Joy, born sleeping 3/11/06 at 26 wks gestation.

I look forward to seeing you in here and chatting with you. The ladies on this forum have helped me in so many ways to cope with the grief of losing a baby, and we will be here for you too if you ever need to talk.

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Sat Feb 23, 2008 9:00 am
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Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2005 8:43 pm
Posts: 1315
Location: Whatawhata, Hamilton
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Heya Mel

You know me so I dont need to go through the intro lol.

Its awesome you have joined us here babe, You will find all the ladies awesome here.

Huggles
Kim

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Sat Feb 23, 2008 3:19 pm
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Joined: Thu Mar 27, 2008 12:16 am
Posts: 69
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Hello everyone. I'm Melissa, I'm 23, I'm sahm to two beautiful girls Freja who's 4 and Raeden who's 2. I have had 3 early m/c, Micah in May of 03, Bub in June of 04, and Twinky in August of 06. On June 14th 2007 after 6 weeks in the hospital I gave brth to my last child at 29 weeks 5 days. Calypso Paikea Rhyder died on July 7, 2007 at 23 days old. She died on Kidney Failure as a Complication of NEC as a complication of Prematurity.

BTW I'm NOT from New Zealand but I've been looking for a smaller board for greif since most of them seem huge and unfriendly. Hope it's ok I post here

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Thu Mar 27, 2008 12:23 am
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Joined: Thu Dec 14, 2006 3:08 pm
Posts: 1708
Location: Rotorua
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first off Huge Hugs to you Melissa, my name is Carley, married to Phill and SAHM to Bayden,5, and our angel in heaven Julia Rose-Joy, born sleeping on 3rd November 2006.
The ladies on this site are fantastic and have help we come to terms with the loss of our precious angel. I can honestly say that if it wasnt for the ladies here I dont know what state I would be in, or if I would even be here at all.
I have visited Calypso's site and lit a candle for her. I would like to say that she is a beautiful wee girl, with a very loving Mummy and family. Your tribute video is beautiful. :cry: :cry: :cry:
Feel free to post when ever you need to and remember that we are all here for each other, to get through this heartbreaking journey that lays ahead.

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Thu Mar 27, 2008 9:07 am
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Joined: Thu Mar 27, 2008 12:16 am
Posts: 69
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Thank you so much for your kind and warm welcome Carley, and thank you for visiting Calypso's sites. and for lighting a candle, it means the world to me

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Thu Mar 27, 2008 9:26 am
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Joined: Tue Nov 08, 2005 10:47 am
Posts: 1106
Location: Auckland
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Hello and welcome. I am glad that you have found us but wish you did not have the need.
My name is Lisa nd I am also a sahm to Nikita 7 and Cort 6 months.
I have two Angel babies, Eden who passed away at 18 hours old from sepsis and complications of prematurity and Laine who passed away at 6 months from SIDS (? LQTS)
Reading that Calypso passed away due to kidney failure from NEC makes me shudder as my lil boy Cort was developing NEC (24 WEEKER) and I just know that if anything was to happen to him I would lose the plot.

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Thu Mar 27, 2008 4:01 pm
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Joined: Fri Feb 15, 2008 9:03 pm
Posts: 528
Location: Christchurch
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Hi Melissa
Firstly, big hugs to you from us all :grphug:
Like the others have said, welcome to the club that no-one wants to belong to. I'm pleased you have found this group as it has been absolutely awesome to have people to talk to who know exactly how you feel. I have watched your tribute video and visited your website - they are both beautiful! Have yet to visit the Candle site, and will do that shortly - but I just wanted to say hi and thanks for sharing your story and to know that even across the other side of the world, we are here for you.

My little man died at 16 days old. You can read his story on this site under http://www.thelostones.co.nz/stories/liam.html.

Take care
xox

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Tanya

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Thu Mar 27, 2008 4:30 pm
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Joined: Tue Jan 29, 2008 12:50 pm
Posts: 708
Location: Auckland
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Hi MelissaJ and Melissa(OnewhoSoars).
All I can say ladies is :bighug: . I have read both of your intro's and my heart goes out to you both. You have both come to the right place to be able to talk about your experiences and your angels, however I wish none of us had to be here :blue:
ANytime you need a chat, come on as there is great support here.
Once again I am so sorry to hear your stories :grphug:

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Fri Mar 28, 2008 10:06 am
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Joined: Tue Feb 26, 2008 7:31 am
Posts: 138
Location: Manukau City
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Hi ladies,
My name is Sara. It was exactly 2 months ago, I found out that my little Baby Beanie had passed away. Baby Beanie was born 8 Feb 37cm long, 750g, born sleeping at 27 weeks. A routine midwife appointment discovered his little heart beat was no longer, the most devasting day of my entire life. I thought there would be no one else out there possibly going thru as much heart ache as us, but I also stumbled across this website while doing a google search. It has become my lifeline, I don't post alot, but I read alot. It is comforting and I am constantly in tears at all the stories I read. Midwife visit 2 nights ago revealed that the baby healthy but very under weight, but the veins between uterine wall and placenta narrow, with low blood pressure caused problems. Moving forward asprin and calcium and high risk clinic for any further pregnancies. I miss my boy, he is my shining star, my guide in life and will always watch over us.

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Baby Beanie, I feel you with me in spirit everyday. We love you and miss you.


Thu Apr 03, 2008 9:10 pm
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Joined: Tue Jan 29, 2008 12:50 pm
Posts: 708
Location: Auckland
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Hi Sara.
I'm glad you have found comfort in coming here, and often just tuning in and reading helps. :)
I'm glad that you have had some feedback on why this happened, although I can imagine that your pain is still very raw. I too had an explanation for my loss of Satori, but at the end of the day still felt very ripped off that she is not with us.
It has been 4 and a half months since I was told that her heart had stopped beating, and sometimes I allow myself to think about that precise moment, and it honestly still sends me into shock. Although I was thinking that there was not alot of movement, I never once considered that my baby might not be alive :shock:
I must also say that after 4.5 months, things are also getting, on the whole, slightly better, and that I am starting to get back into life again, with the support of TLO, Sands and friends and family.

Anyway Sara, the punch line to my ramblings is that alot of people have said "Time will help to heal", which I use to hate, but in fact it is true. Every month gets just a tad easier. Another thing my midwife said is that, in time your loss will become a dull ache, but that dull ache will become your friend" - Not sure about that one - might have to wait and see!

Take care and (((huge hugs)))
Yvonne

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Yvonne

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Thu Apr 03, 2008 11:07 pm
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Joined: Thu Dec 14, 2006 3:08 pm
Posts: 1708
Location: Rotorua
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Hi Sara, and welcome to the club that no one wants to join. I am Carley, married to Phill and SAHM to Bayden, nearly 6, and our angle girl Julia Rose-Joy, born sleeping 3 November 2006.
I hope that through this site you can find the comfort and support that you need, and it is ok to not post all of the time, as like you said sometimes reading just helps. Love and Hugs and look forward to getting to know you and Beanie Baby.

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Fri Apr 04, 2008 8:34 am
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Joined: Tue Mar 25, 2008 9:18 am
Posts: 449
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Hi everyone,

I thought I should introduce myself after being a lurker for such a long time! DH (30) and I (29) decided to start TTC our first baby at the beginning of last year. After 6 months (felt like forever!) we were ecstatic to get our first BFP. Everything was going so well, we had scans at 9, 12 and 16 weeks and were told everything was looking perfect, we were having a little girl. All that changed at our 19 week anatomy scan. After an hour long scan, the student sonographer told us all was well, and she'd just get her supervisor to check everything. In the next 5 minutes our world crashed around us, our baby girl had severe spina bifida and heart defects. So much for all that folic acid :( . Eva Hannah was born sleeping at 20 weeks after a 17 hour labour, a perfect looking little girl. At the time I thought no-one could understand the pain and sorrow I was going through, until I found this site. It makes me so sad that so many of us have had to go through this, but I'm grateful there are people are out there who have that understanding, and the desire to support each other.

Eva's due date was today, a big psychological milestone for me, and I'm trying to move past this but will never forget.

I really look forward to getting to know you all.

Much love.

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Mon Apr 14, 2008 10:23 pm
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Joined: Tue Jan 29, 2008 12:50 pm
Posts: 708
Location: Auckland
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Hi Queenbean,

(((HUGS))) I'm so sorry for the loss of your little angel Eva. I hope you can find some comfort in TLO. It must have been an incredibly hard day for you, being Eva's DD. I hope you have had lots of hugs and angel kisses today. If you ever need an ear that understands, then you have come to the right place with this bunch of ladies.

Take Care
Yvonne

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Yvonne

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Mon Apr 14, 2008 11:31 pm
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Joined: Thu Dec 14, 2006 3:08 pm
Posts: 1708
Location: Rotorua
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Hi Queenbean, and welcome to the club that no one wants to join.
My name is Carley, SAHM to Bayden 5 and our angel girl Julia Rose-Joy born sleeping 3/11/06.
I hope that Eva's due date wasnt too hard on you and if you ever need to talk to some one or need to vent there is normally someone here. Huge Hugs to you and your DH.

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Tue Apr 15, 2008 8:51 am
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Joined: Mon Sep 18, 2006 11:30 pm
Posts: 666
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Hi Queenbean, my story is a bit the same.. My little Chloe was discovered to have severe spina bifida and brain damage at the 23 week scan (supposed to be 20 weeks but I was on holidays) and I was induced 10 days after the scan. I was in labour for 16 hours.

Big hugs to you.

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my angel Chloé
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Wed Apr 16, 2008 11:22 pm
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Joined: Tue Mar 25, 2008 9:18 am
Posts: 449
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Thank you for the kind welcome Yvonne, Carley and Lauriel. I'm so saddened to hear about all your beautiful girls too.

Yvonne, Satori is such a beautiful name.

Carley, was so great to hear your latest news!! I hope to be joining you soon! :wink:

Lauriel, you are right, our situations were sooo similar, it breaks my heart to realise others have gone through what we had to.

:bighug: to you all.

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Thu Apr 17, 2008 1:03 pm
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Joined: Thu Mar 27, 2008 12:16 am
Posts: 69
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Queen Bean- I'm so sorry to welcome you here and for the loss of your precious girl. I'm not good with words so I just wanted to give you a big hug

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Thu Apr 17, 2008 1:45 pm
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Joined: Tue Apr 15, 2008 5:17 pm
Posts: 151
Location: Auckland
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Hello,

I too am the mother of a precious wee angel and a newbie to this site.

My name is Tania and my husband, Dan and I lost our first child, a beautiful baby girl we named Mia Rose. Mia was born sleeping at 31 weeks in mid Feb after a 2.5 hour labour. She was absolutely beautiful and I miss her so so much.

This week has been pretty hard as we had our hospital follow up visit on Tuesday to find out the results of why this happened and then her due date was yesterday, which we called Mia's special day.

For Mia's speical day we wrote her a letter, bought her some presents and visited her grave with our family where we read her the book "Guess How Much I love You". Over the past few months we have been decorating Mia's grave and it is now starting to look really lovely, she has nice silk flowers, an angel ornament, a fairy and some butterfiles. I think she would really like it.

Well I just wanted to introduce myself to all you other wonderul angel mums and thank you for this great supportive site.

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Tania

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Thu Apr 17, 2008 4:12 pm
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Joined: Thu Dec 14, 2006 3:08 pm
Posts: 1708
Location: Rotorua
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Hi Tania, first off huge hugs to you and your DH, and welcome to the club that no one wants to join.
My name is Carley SAHM to Bayden, 5, and our angel Julia Rose-Joy born sleeping 3/11/06.
The ladies on this site have been and still are a huge support to me, and I can honestly say that without their love and support I dont know what stae I would be in. Feel free to post and share your precious angel Mia Rose with us, and remember be kind to yourselves and just be in the moment.
We are all here if you need us.

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Thu Apr 17, 2008 4:41 pm
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Joined: Tue Jan 29, 2008 12:50 pm
Posts: 708
Location: Auckland
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Welcome Tania.
I'm so sorry you have had to join this club, however it is a healing place for those of us that have experienced the loss of our angels.
Yesterday would have been a special day that held many memories and emotions, and I really think the only thing I can say is ((((Big Hugs)))). If you need us, we are here, and you are very welcome.

My name is Yvonne. Neil & I lost our little girl, Satori ,5mths ago. She was born sleeping at 37weeks due to Gestational Diabetes. We also have a 3yr old Son called Flynn. I think of my little angel on an hourly basis - sometimes more, however the good days are starting to out number the bad ones, which I never thought would happen.

Look forward to getting to know you and you angel Mia Rose.

Take Care
Yvonne

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Yvonne

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Thu Apr 17, 2008 5:45 pm
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Joined: Tue Apr 15, 2008 5:17 pm
Posts: 151
Location: Auckland
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Thank you for the warm welcome Carley and Yvonne.

It is great to know this forum is available to share my thoughts, feelings, vent or ask questions.

I am so sorry that you lost your precious little ones also. I think one of the most shocking things about this experience is how many people are affected by pregnancy and infant loss. Whilst it is comforting to know I am not alone, it still shocks and saddens me how many others have felt the same horrific grief. For me, once we lost Mia, suddenly there were family and friends who came out and spoke of their losses, and I hadn't had a clue, no-one talked about it and I wish I had known. I seem the complete opposite as I feel it is important to talk about Mia so my family and friends never forget her and how important she was to us.

Again thanks for the welcome, I'm sure we will chat again on other threads.

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Tania

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Sat Apr 19, 2008 1:13 pm
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Joined: Tue Jan 29, 2008 12:50 pm
Posts: 708
Location: Auckland
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Hi Tania

:bighug: I too was quite blown away by the amount of people who have experienced pregnancy and infant loss - and that was just in connection to people I know, who knew people, let alone those I have meet at Sands or on TLO. Before this I only knew of my cousin who unfortunately lost her little angel at 20wks.

I also agree that talking about Satori has helped me through some of my grief, and am lucky to have had alot of ears around me. I think you just have to do whatever is right or comfortable for you, in this situation.

I noticed that you are in Auckland - so am I. Maybe we could catch up one day for a chat, if you feel like it?

Yvonne

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Sat Apr 19, 2008 4:08 pm
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Joined: Tue Apr 15, 2008 5:17 pm
Posts: 151
Location: Auckland
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Hi Yvonne,

Catching up would be really nice. It would be lovely to get to know your sweet Satori.

Feel free to get in touch when you find a spare mo, otherwise I might see you at Sands meetings.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

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Tania

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Sun Apr 20, 2008 12:32 am
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Joined: Tue Feb 26, 2008 7:31 am
Posts: 138
Location: Manukau City
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Hi Mia's Mum,

My name is Sara, I to lost my little boy at 27 weeks, 8 Feb 08. You will get an endless amount of support from these ladies here, you get a laugh at some of the comments made, but it is sad that you are here. Mia is such a beautiful name as I am sure she is a beautiful little angel. She will playing with my Baby Beanie I am sure along with all the other beautiful angels out there.

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Baby Beanie, I feel you with me in spirit everyday. We love you and miss you.


Sun Apr 20, 2008 7:26 pm
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