Just hoping I can get some advice from those who have been through this horrible time.

It seems like my friend is going to lose her baby due to some issues (she is 21 weeks pregnant). When you went through this what is it you wanted your friends to do?? I am a good 1 and a half from her but have told her that I will be there for when she needs me, but anything else I can do for her??

Thanks all.

Be there for her right thru, encourage her to talk and talk, usually a month after the funeral every one disappears and thats when she will need company. if u are able to help with cooking or doing shopping it was a big help for me. getting hold of some sands brouchures early may help, there are other things u may be able to help her with like taking photos for her, even tho she may not want to look at them now or ever it may be a comfort having them there. oh and if and when she is ready tell her about here and let her know others been thru this

Good ideas there Hayley. For me the most important thing was having people around me who were afraid to say Julia's name and acknowledge her IYKWIM? Some people are too scared to say anything so they think it is best to not say anything at all. Has your friend got other children? If so offer to look after them when she is having baby, it was comforting to me to know that I had people to look after DS while we were at the hospital (sure it was my sisters but you get the idea), but the most important thing of all is to just be there for her, show her that you love her (you obviously do otherwise you wouldnt be finding these things out) and that you are there when she needs you, either to rant, vent or just a shoulder to cry on. Sure there may be times when you dont have the answers to her questions but be honest and say that you dont know. I was given a locket when Julia was born with her name and birthdate engraved on the back...maybe if you were thinking a gift something like that??

Hope that helps you out somewhat, and please give your friend a huge hug from me. She is in my thoughts

So sorry to read your friend is going thru this heartbreaking time at the moment.

As Hayley and Carley said is very good advice. They are so right its the month or so afterwards when everyone stops ringing and calling in for coffee that the grief and emotions really start to sink in. I guess that is when the shock of what has happened wears off and you realise what has just happened and that is when you really need that friend. That is from my own experince.

Just be there for her and call the baby by its name and talk to her about the baby and let her talk to you about the baby. I love it when people ask me about my boys and call them by name its like they are being remembered.

And yes when the time is right please let her know we are all here for her and her family.

the others gave great advice, i just wanted to add how important consistancy is. If you can keep in contact even once a week and let her talk freely that is so important. Go to her place for a coffee (she may not feel like going out for a while) or if you cant go over, just a phone call will show you care and give her an opportunity to talk. Im glad she has such a caring friend as you to be there for her at this awful time

Hey Becks,

I have sent you a PM though OB, but if you don't get it, let me know and I'll try through here.

Big hugs hun xxx

I am so sorry to hear this. Everyone has offered great advice. The one thing that I found and still do find comforting, is when friends acknowledge Georgia by name. I don't really think I can offer anymore than has been said, but to me, the most important thing was being able to talk to a friend about Georgia whenever I needed to and have them just listen, there was only one person I could do that with before I found you guys, and just by her listening, I found comfort. Big hugs.

I'm really sorry to hear about your friend. I don't think there is any more advice I can add other than what has already been said. Just be there for her and encourage her to talk about her feelings if she wants to. We are all here for you and her.

xox