The LOST Ones
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First miscarridge :(
https://www.thelostones.co.nz/phpbb3/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=1600		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  broken dream [ Tue Aug 11, 2009 6:05 pm ]
Post subject:  First miscarridge :(
Hi Im a newbie I lost my pregnancy 4 days ago 6 weeks pregnant. I was admitted to hospital with bleeding and cramping, I was on my own hubby was home with our six year old we moved to this town 10 months ago we had no family or close friends here.
At first I was angry at hubby for leaving me on my own, he moved us here for work I kept thinking he could of found someone to care for our son whats done is done I have to move on and greave for this angel we never meet I feel so empty.
we had been trying for two long years to concive. we have a gorgeous 6 year old Jack.
We went to a specialist appointment a week before to found out why we couldnt concive it was to do with my husband count we left that appointment feeling down, little did we know I was pregnant confirmed 3 days later by a test at home we were over the moon to see the two lines I couldnt stop crying we had waited so long I have lost count how many times I have done pregnancy tests and only 1 line showed.
The doctor told me hes going to get me to see a specialist in 11 weeks time why so long?
When does the blooding stop Im confused one doctor said two days another said 10.
The gynoclogist on call at the hospital she was so blunt I hated her yes you have lost it I burst into tears she said ok I let you have some time walks out shuts the door by that time I just wanted to go home to be with my family.
The nurses were lovely and kept saying you shouldnt be on your own but I had no one to call my close friends are 2 hours away.
The worst part was when I lost the pregnancy in the hospital toilet :( I just stood there and cryed I was hooked up to a drip I havent told anyone this because I feel embarrsed.
One comment I had about my pregnancey dont worry it was only a ball of cells WHAT
When I found out I was pregnant I was excited basically told everyone my mother comment was dont get to excited and dont tell everyone was not impressed that I did.
Why do so many people have to say there most be something wrong with it that really makes me such much better what do you say to that I just say nothing with my head down
Author:  natanddylan [ Tue Aug 11, 2009 6:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: First miscarridge :(
awww what a sad story. I'm so sorry for your loss! It can't be easy for you hearing people say those things. I lost my son Dreyton in april at 40 weeks gest so I'm still kinda a newbie too.
Author:  Jessie78 [ Tue Aug 11, 2009 11:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: First miscarridge :(
Firstly, I'm so sorry for the loss of your wee baby. Yes you had a baby, not a bunch of cells. You had dreams and hopes. :(
Secondly , stop letting these people get away with trampling on your feelings. They need to know it's not ok to say that shyte. You don't have to worry about offending them. YOU are more important, and they can't be allowed to do it to you anymore, or to any other poor mums.
You can say "actually these things DON'T happen for a good reason", "no there was nothing wrong with my baby", "no I'm NOT ok", and "no I'm NOT over it yet".
Go gently on yourself, take your time about things. there are some nice ideas on here for some memorials if you like.
Hugs
Jess
Author:  TrinityClair [ Wed Aug 12, 2009 8:03 am ]
Post subject:  Re: First miscarridge :(
Jessie78 wrote:
Firstly, I'm so sorry for the loss of your wee baby. Yes you had a baby, not a bunch of cells. You had dreams and hopes. :(
Secondly , stop letting these people get away with trampling on your feelings. They need to know it's not ok to say that shyte. You don't have to worry about offending them. YOU are more important, and they can't be allowed to do it to you anymore, or to any other poor mums.
You can say "actually these things DON'T happen for a good reason", "no there was nothing wrong with my baby", "no I'm NOT ok", and "no I'm NOT over it yet".
Go gently on yourself, take your time about things. there are some nice ideas on here for some memorials if you like.
Hugs
Jess


Well said Jessie, pretty much exactly what I was thinking when i read your first post bd.

I had a miscarriage very early, at 5 weeks, I was told the same as you, it wasnot an emryo yet so not technically a baby, it was a blastocyst, but we had hopes and dreams for our baby, we'd imagined holding that baby, imagined their future, it was those hopes and dreams that we lost.

Welcome to our site, I'm so sorry you have a reason to be here, but glad you found us (((hugs)))
Author:  broken dream [ Wed Aug 12, 2009 2:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: First miscarridge :(
Some people are so cruel and the ones that say those not so helpful remarks havent had a miscarriage.
I went and had a coffee this morning Im in a new comers group to Timaru a couple of mums look at me as if to say are you sure you should behere sighhh.
My mother in law rang four days after my loss to see how I was I cant pick up the phone to speak to her man I just what to scream/
I was so excited when I got a postive result they were here I told them mother out law said dont get to excited you may have a miscarriage :( thankyou so much from then on I was a wreck scared and my worst fear happen a week later.
I started blooding sat morning went to my sons soccer game my husband keep saying theres nothing deep down I knew.
My dad is cut up as for my mum we are not close treated me like crap when I was a child until I left home.
She was talking to me on the phone her words werent comforting me to little to late.
My six year old Jack wants me to come to his school today has a concert hard as it will be I will go. He such a good wee man gave me heaps of cuddles and stamps. Had my jersey said mum put this on keep your warm he hads no idea that I was pregnant.
It was so hard trying to stop crying when they came and got me from hospital seeing my son looking at me so concern he thought the nurses hurt his mum he said he wasnt happy so sweet.
Author:  broken dream [ Wed Aug 12, 2009 2:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: First miscarridge :(
wow I just seen how far on you ladies were Im so sorry for your losses :(
Author:  Jessie78 [ Wed Aug 12, 2009 4:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: First miscarridge :(
broken dream wrote:
wow I just seen how far on you ladies were Im so sorry for your losses :(

This doesn't make your loss any 'less' important, hun. We're all in this together :bighug:
Author:  broken dream [ Thu Aug 13, 2009 3:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: First miscarridge :(
Thankyou. Went to work today Im a merchandiser for korbond at supermarket.
Waiting for the lady in charge to sign my paper work saw a baby in a shopping trolley :( the tears started flowing.
I have a friend who had a abortion a year ago I confide in her alot when things in my life turn pear shape this time I cant Im feeling anger towards her whats happening am I going crazy.
After this morning I feel safe behined close doors.
Author:  *lynne* [ Sat Aug 15, 2009 12:30 am ]
Post subject:  Re: First miscarridge :(
More hugs today hun. Pleased you found our safe haven. Your posts brough more tears to my eyes (as do anyones when I read of loses).
I can't say you will feel better tomorrow, I can't say the next day will be any better but I can say I (and that lovely people here) will be here as a shoulder when ever you need.
Give that cute 6 year old an extra hug from me for being such a hun to his mum. He has a huge kind heart just like his mum.
Take care hun
Author:  broken dream [ Sat Aug 15, 2009 2:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: First miscarridge :(
Thanks Lynne :D .
I look at Jack and think we are lucky to have him I think he knows his mum and dad are hurting about something hes been close to me lately cuddles.
He got my jacket today when we about to go out to soccer I had him already and forgot about myself.
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