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 How do you start to think postively??? 
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Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 1:03 pm
Posts: 280
Location: Ohio, USA
Post How do you start to think postively???
I've been trying for the past 12 weeks to think positive, but I'm failing miserably. I saw the OB today for my 12 week checkup, and all looks good. Nice heartbeat, was easy to find, no further nausea or vomiting, but I'm still carrying around that doom feeling.

I spoke with the OB extensively today (it's the same one who delivered Tyler), and we made a plan for the following months. I'm being booked with a neonatologist for a level 2 ultrasound at the 20 week mark to check all the babies vital organs and growth. They are diagnosing me with amniotic band syndrome (for those of you who don't know....my son died due to an amniotic band (a fibrous string) wrapping around his umbilical cord and cutting off his oxygen and blood supply from me). Although there is no reason to think this will happen again (it was a 1 in 20million chance of it happening last time), they are still going to keep on the lookout to see if one forms again (which is hard to diagnose, because the bands are virtually invisable on ultrasound).

Anyhow, like I said.... I'm still having these impending doom feelings, and feel as though I'm never meant to be happy. Which now makes me feel guilty, because I am happy to be having another little bundle of joy to add to my family, but I'm having a hard time grasping on to those happy feelings.

Why must we all endure such terrible heartache and sadness in our lives, when we are such a great group of women????

Thanks for listening to my rambles ladies. I always somehow feel better after I'm done typing away.

Bridget

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Thu Aug 03, 2006 6:15 am
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Joined: Thu Jul 14, 2005 8:06 pm
Posts: 1455
Location: Auckland
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Oh hun, I'm sure all these feelings are normal, and its very understandable that you feel the way that you do, seeing as you have already been through so much.

I haven't lost a child, so I'm not sure anything I'll say will 'help' or make you 'feel better'.

What I do want to say is - that we are all here for you - and here to vent to whenever you need it.

((hugs))

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Thu Aug 03, 2006 11:10 am
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Joined: Fri Sep 30, 2005 10:00 pm
Posts: 653
Location: NZ
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Just wanted to send you some more ((((((BIG HUGS))))))) from me too Bridget. So sorry to hear you are having such a tough time of it.

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Thu Aug 03, 2006 12:50 pm
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Joined: Wed Jul 20, 2005 10:44 pm
Posts: 1117
Location: Auckland, NZ
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Really Big (((HUGS))) Bridget, and it's great to hear bubs is doing good with a nice strong heartbeat :)

It can be really hard to feel hopeful when you have lost a baby, but you won't always feel like that, you just have to go with happy feelings when the come along and try not to get to caught up in the guilt (easier said than done) but I promise it will get better you are just learning to trust again and that takes time.

Take care
Jacqui

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Thu Aug 03, 2006 7:56 pm
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