I'm finding it really hard to be around my girls, I mean I love them so much but I just look at them and their clothes and think im never going to see our bub smile, and I just think, I wonder what s/he would be like, would s/he look like me or mike, would s/he be a happy, go-lucky bub like the girls.
I'm just feeling really down, is it possible to have the baby blues or PND or depression (sp?)

yer, sorry bout the ramble I jsut want to know these feelings are normal,

Gwen

Hi Gwen,

Big hugs, it can be so hard after loss, just trying to do even the everyday things let alone trying to look after our other precious kiddies.
Your feelings are so normal but over time the hurt and sadness will lessen and it wont be so hard but don't feel bad for being down now as this is what you need to feel at the moment.

I notice you are on the coast, thats where I'm from too, if you ever what to catch up for coffee and a chat I'm more than happy to do so

Take care

lol I just sent you a pm about coffe and a catch up

Normal, normal, normal Gwen! I think parenting after a loss is even harder than having a loss when you have no children coz you have a constant reminder of the what could have beens. At least it was like that for me anyway.
I've leant Janine my copy of Life After Loss, I'll PM her and see if she can flick it on to you coz it has some great stuff on life after loss (funnily enough lol!)

Hi Gwen, I found it hard after we lost Julia, for all of the reasons you have listed, but it also made me realise just how lucky we are to have Bayden, and it made me cherish him even more, even if he does do my head in sometimes hehe.
So yes it is completely natural to feel and experience the emotions you are having.
I came to the conclusion that if someone asked me how I was on a particular day I was going to be honest with them, and if they were a true friend they would understand.
Hope this helps
Carley

Hi Gwen

Yep I agree with the others, your feelings sound completely normal and natural after suffering the loss of a baby. I also found that I became overly protective of my boys after my mc, like now that something bad had happened to one of my babies, it might increase the chance of something else happening to the others. Does that make sense? This also lead to me feeling really overwhelmed by the responsibilty to keep them safe and a fear of failing them like I had the baby.

Hope this helps

I agree with everything the other ladies have already said - what you are feeling is totally normal, you are grieving, and hard as it is, you need to let yourself go through that process.

After I lost Maria, I had days when all I wanted to do was die. I was grateful to have Joel, because he gave me a reason to get out of bed every day, but I also resented the fact that he was so dependent on me. Subsequent pregnancy was hell and I still worry about cot death etc - I guess the whole thing has made me so conscious of how easily we can lose our loved ones.

sneding you big ((hugs))